So many times I wanted to leave. I have a hard time now reconciling that I stayed so long. When he proposed at the top of a mountain my internal reaction was a silent scream of 'Nooooooooo!'. Instead I did not actually respond verbally until he said 'are you going to answer me?' and I said 'Yes, of course.' He then said 'lucky for you or I'd have pushed you off the edge, haha.' He then proudly told other people that same story as a 'joke'. I stayed with him for 13 years. I was 20 when I met him and he was 35. I wasn't attracted to him, but he pursued me and I was too polite to say no. He love-bombed me and told me such sob stories about his life. I think I felt I had to stay to prove to him that I was as loyal and trustworthy as he repeatedly told me I was at the beginning.  My final straw was a Sunday morning. He had not been home from the night before. My five year old son asked me 'Mummy where's daddy?' I said 'I don't know love, shall we give him a call?' When I phoned he was on a mates boat, still off his head from the night before. I don't know why that time was different, as it was usual behaviour from him. Maybe the fact that it was now affecting the children? Maybe just a build up of all the terrible behaviour on his part. I packed our bags, left him a note and went to my parents. The relief of friends and family around me when they could see I was determined not to go back was palpable. It has been a nightmare co parenting with him for the last 10 years. I still have six years to go until my youngest turns 18. I'm currently enjoying the peace of an FVRO, but I know that will eventually end and I'll have to communicate with him again.