A brilliant article. Full of deep compassion, empathy and wisdom. I"m so glad Mammaia has moved away from their once very shallow articles. Britney, like everyone, does not exist without context. And in her case, her context has not only shaped her, but strove to keep her imprisoned. Thank you for writing this. 

I'm sorry for your experience. Self care, and self expression looks different for different people, and you don't need to explain yourself. 

@mamamia-user-482898552 Yes I understand. I have a family member who is anoxic, severely anxious, and has control and regiment issues. She hasn't had her period in years...as for me, I'm healthy, I'm just not hungry much I really wish I was! I think if people in the public eye trigger us peasants then it's up to us to do the inner work and healing involved so we don't get trigged so easily over every little thing. There will always be triggers. This is life. That being said, positive role models in the public can help some people too. I think Gwyneth is an easy target, I am neutral towards her myself. 

@lablover16 Good for you. People are so married to the mainstream narrative of 'three meals a day' , it's brainwashing social conditioning. My sister, in direct contrast is always hungry and eats HUGE amounts. She too is naturally slim. To each his own. 

@rosiecat Correct. Because I'M NOT HUNGRY. I wish I was. If I go to Mum's for dinner then I eat up big - then I sleep like shit and get up to pee all night. I've seen dieticians and an auyurvedic practitioner and had blood tests - nothing is wrong with me. Disordered eating would come from fear. I am not in fear, nor am I trying to gain control or lose weight. I'm naturally petite, as are all my family. Genetically I'm unable to put on weight. If it works for me and my health, and I'm healty, then it's not disordered. 

Lucky for me, I"m not famous, and I live alone, so no one cares, or sees, that I never eat breakfast (I'm not hungry in the morning) and eat lunch only 1-3pm. Occasional dinner, I"m naturally petite, but I'm sure if I were even remotely famous people would be convinced I have 'disordered eating' or an eating disorder. 

Awesome recap I love it. I thought the movie was crap then, and still crap now. No matter the era I still recognised this as a tired, pathetic and damaging narrative that I don't buy into and bores me shitless. 

There's nothing wrong with 'wanting it all'. But instead ask WHY do you want it all. It quite frankly sounds absolutely exhausting and practically impossible to me. It's so difficult because wanting it all is like aiming for a gold win in a system set up to fail you. We DO MORE than men in an already unfair world, so it's a hard road to start with. Hats off to the women who give it a stab! 

@jened Is it really the serenity that makes you feel more stressed? Or is it THE STUFF INSIDE of you (painful emotions, thoughts, etc) that the peace and serenity bring to the surface, which make you panic?

I absolutely loved this article. It's explained SO WELL!  It's 100% my experience with different chronic diseases, over many years - chronic fatigue, adrenal fatigue, fibromyalgia and migraines. I absolutely loved how you could capture everything in a  way I never could. Thank you so much for writing this!! 

Great article! People forget that, for a women, sex means an energy exchange, and it take ENERGY to have sex, enjoy it, and get turned on. Often times in this exchange, the woman walks away energetically depleted (regardless of whether or not she enjoyed it) because she has GIVEN so much.  I lost my libido, desire and even my ability to feel sexual attraction to anyone, at 36. There's no part of me that wants to get that close to anyone again - too intense, and almost invasive. I consider myself supremely lucky, because not only this, I don't really get lonely, and I don't wish for companionship either. The only thing I want, is a helping hand when things are heavy  or too high up round the house! 

Excellent article Mia! You touched on some key points - and there is nothing wrong or even unsupportive about telling it like it is -and that is, that women can still get the most attention and relevance by being hot. It's pathetic, sad and BOR-ING. But where we diverge is that you seem sad and bothered by someone being controlled by this paradigm, whereas, I tend to feel indifferent - and I don't expect much better. The other thing is, even though I'm 42 and look 28 and I'm 'hot', I don't consider this an achievement, and I don't want the respect or relevance of this world, as I don't respect this world in the first place. It's insane. 

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@simple simon I know PLENTY of women (myself included) who don't care what their male partner's wear, never do they dictate. It literally doesn't bother me in the slightest, if I'm dressed up to the nine's, and he's in thongs. I don't care what people think.