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grumpymama September 22, 2020

Full support from this exhausted mama. Don’t let anyone change your mind!

 ... I somehow imagined motherhood would be all pastel cushions, rocking chairs, and soft lighting. It’s really, really not like that. I imagined I would have a little girl and we’d bake cookies together. Yeh, nah. Doesn’t work like that. You take what you’re given and you’re grateful!
My kid went from being a 12-hour sleeper (I know!), to developing insomnia at 18 months. Yes, actual, proper insomnia; tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep. The internet assured me there is no such thing as insomnia in children, it was just poor “sleep hygiene” (aka: bad parenting). The internet was wrong; turns out about 70-80% of kids on the neurodiverse spectrum don’t produce enough melatonin. Turns out, some kids just. don’t. sleep. Some kids are much harder than others, and you don’t get to choose. (Lucky for my kid, he’s outrageously cute, so he hasn’t been thrown out of the window once!) Some husbands are much less helpful than others, and you don’t know which ones until the sh*t hits the fan and you’re sitting on the toilet, vomiting into a bucket while breastfeeding the baby, and hubby’s watching Netflix. 

Do I love my kid? Of course. Stupid question. Would I willingly take up the “wife & mother” gig again, knowing what I know now? Not on your freaking LIFE! 

Enjoy your sleep-ins, and give yourself a pat on the back for not falling for the nonsense that motherhood is the be-all and end-all.