I went through this too - I found out my first child was a boy and I was desperate for a girl, and there was a high possibility that I could only have one. I wrote a poem about it, cried for a day and by the time of the birth, was completely delighted with my son. I now have two boys and couldn't care less about their genders. I kept these feelings very private because I was so grateful to be pregnant after some fertility issues, and lots of my friends were going through their own too.