User Comments

tjmcki August 28, 2021

There’s so much pressure to breastfeed our babies and when we choose not to there’s so much judgement! I formula fed from birth with my daughter, I had IUGR and a very complicated pregnancy. When I talked to the midwives and OBs at my hospital they constantly pushed me to breastfeed. Having an IUGR baby meant I’d be subjected to even more pressure about her weight gain and the uncertainty of my body being able to produce enough to let her gain weight was a variable I didn’t want to mess with. When I gave birth there was absolutely no support for me in the hospital for formula feeding, no one showed me how to bottle feed my daughter. It can become a hugely ostracising choice, I have to constantly justify to medical professionals, friends, family and other mums why I chose to never breastfeed my daughter and made to feel like I should have just tried. It’s so

sad that when I say my daughter is formula fed I feel the need to justify why because otherwise I get the looks and questions around it.

tjmcki May 24, 2021

I got into crocs when I was competition swimming, they saved me from tinea and meant I no longer had to wrangle socks over sticky chlorine feet. They’re so versatile and are very comfortable to wear. I guess I don’t care what people think, but if you are trying to hide them then black is probably the easier colour for that. White is pretty noticeable!

tjmcki May 21, 2021

After struggling with infertility I finally got pregnant and then had hyperemesis gravidarum for my entire pregnancy. Vomiting 13 times a day was not what I had envisioned my miracle pregnancy being and then having to explain why I hated being pregnant to everyone was really hard. I had nearly every complication and I still had people saying to me “it’s not that bad”. 

Even when I went to the hospital vomiting blood the doctor who treated me was like suck it up your pregnant, there was no reassurance just a sense that I should suck it up and not complain.
It was such a horrible experience, knowing that all of the issues I had could repeat again makes me not want to have another baby and yet I get the “you’ll change your mind”.

tjmcki January 26, 2021

I had HG during my pregnancy, I was one of the unlucky women who was vomiting even during labour at 39 weeks. I lost 10kg in the first trimester and ended up having to work half days for the first trimester.

The one thing that got me through was the hardcore antiemetic medication I took but I had to go through three other medications before finding one that allowed me to eat for 8 hours of the day.
It was both a mentally and physically draining experience but thanks to the care of my doctors and midwives I now have a very healthy baby! Any mum who has experienced HG is a warrior and should be proud of themselves for getting through such a hard experience!

tjmcki September 14, 2020

As someone who was born solely to be their sister’s guaranteed friend I can tell you this messed with my head. We are very close but when we had fights I would feel guilty that I wasn’t doing my ‘job’ right. And my sister never felt like she had to be my friend in return, she knew I would be there for her but it wasn’t always the same for me. Yes it’s nice to have kids who are friends but maybe don’t tell them that they were only wanted to be your other kid’s friend.

tjmcki July 30, 2020

I’m 5 months into a very difficult pregnancy and at least once a week someone asks me if I’m planning on having more kids after this one. It was a miracle for me to even get pregnant and my husband and I are grateful to just be having a baby in the first place. I hated this question while going through fertility issues and I hate it now that I’m pregnant.

tjmcki June 10, 2020

I understand how you feel, the constant fight between being half white and for me half Māori. I am lighter and like you that gives me privilege however it also means I am forced to justify my skin tone to white people, some people seem to believe they have a right to judge how Māori I am based on how dark my skin tone is. And like you I am forced to listen to racist conversations because my friends forget that I am half Māori. But I feel it is my duty to have the conversations my darker skinned cousins will never be included on, so I take every opportunity I am given to educate people on why the words they say have impact to someone of colour. It’s not about tearing apart other people’s opinions but educating each other on the differences in our culture and history, and acknowledging that we should all do better.