User Comments

elishatraill February 16, 2021

@daijobou look, I love op-shopping a lot, but boxy cuts &/or mustard yellow (hello, Frankie magazine) takes a special person to pull off! Full props to anyone who tries though... like I said, I’m VERY unstylish myself.  And better thrifting than fast fashion!

elishatraill February 14, 2021

@flyingdale flier no, honesty is not everything. Compatibility, commitment, connection and empathy etc. all play their part.  And how convenient for him that he got two years of devoted companionship and sex before breaking out the “honesty”.

I don’t judge this guy for not wanting a permanent relationship with the author.  I do however judge the sheer audacity of this guy expecting her to act as a place warmer until HE decides the relationship is over.  I hope she realises she can do better than this.

elishatraill February 12, 2021

@laura__palmer Thats hilarious - and true.  Gen z criticising anyone’s fashion sense brings to mind a phrase about people and glass houses...Then again, I wear jeggings unironically so I’m one to talk! 

A very stylish friend recently said to me “ all the nineties trends are coming back in and I’m not sure how I feel about that because they’re kind of ugly”.  Made me feel better 😂

elishatraill February 1, 2021

@snorks depends on which of their roles they went on strike from.  I can guarantee you the world at large would suffer if every aged/ disability/child care worker who was a mother chucked in their job!  

Fully agree with your broader point around individual household arrangements.  I have very low standards for housekeeping and society still functions 😂 

elishatraill January 21, 2021

@rush agreed, but I would find $20000 for a bag impossible to do. (A) I don’t have $20000 and (B) I would spend every waking moment terrified of losing it!

I feel for the lady who lost her jacket. I don’t have a great track record with sunnies.

elishatraill January 21, 2021

It looks amazing! It’s probably the size of my entire kitchen 😂

elishatraill January 15, 2021

Totally agree with this. I will NEVER understand why such a personal (& potentially emotional) question is the most common go-to when starting conversation with someone you don’t know well.

elishatraill January 15, 2021

I felt the same way about that SAS show recently.  I’m not a fan of “reality” tv in general (& have only seen advertising shorts) but recent offerings seem to be increasingly sadistic.  I hope the trend of setting up people in artificial environments and essentially torturing them for entertainment doesn’t continue.  

elishatraill January 5, 2021

@snorks oh god yes! Several family members have been accountants and some of the situations you hear about... so sad.

elishatraill January 3, 2021

@anonymous You’re hilarious  😂😂😂 

I think you’re confusing the word “radical” with “bully”
A radical would be asking why childcare workers who make it possible for many women to work the way you think they should are paid starvation wages... 
A radical would be challenging casualisation of the workforce (which disproportionately affects women)...
A radical would be challenging the norm of school hours running from 9-3...
Instead, you’re posting comments denigrating other women in a forum that is purely social.  
Does your “proud radicalism” ever take a form that might positively influence the real world? Or is being mean anonymously on the internet as far as it goes for you?  

elishatraill December 30, 2020

@anonymous there are so many unsubstantiated assertions in your response that I’m not sure where to start... the totalitarianism of your thinking is somewhat out of place in a progressive democracy.  I’m curious that you criticise conservatism while having a lot in common with it.

elishatraill December 30, 2020

@simple simon our life experiences have been very different then. Most people I know respect others who use their time productively, regardless of whether it results in an income or not.  I also know several men who have successfully and happily taken on the role of primary caregiver in their families (and not withdrawn from life!). It’s a shame that both sexes experience so much judgement.

elishatraill December 30, 2020

@anonymous you are falling into the trap of believing that the only valuable human activity is one that can be monetised. Which, by the way, suits the neo-liberal corporate overlords of our economy beautifully.  Do you not understand how corporate interests have manipulated the feminist movement over time to encourage views like yours - increasing the total number of workers puts downward pressure on wages (automation does the same thing).  

Honestly, the fact that you think that a persons right to equality is dependent on their ability to be in paid employment is disturbing. Pensioners must really blow your mind! 

elishatraill December 30, 2020

@simple simon I’m not sure if you’re joking or not? “Work” is a relative term - getting paid for doing something doesn’t mean the task is difficult, and not getting paid doesn’t mean it’s easy.  Not everything that needs doing in life results in a pay check.  And some things that don’t need doing at all (looking at you, social media influencers) generate lots of income. 

In any case, why is how a family structures their employment & childcare anyone else’s business? With friends like her, who needs enemies!! 😂

elishatraill December 28, 2020

@cat fair enough.  That shift in her thinking wasn't super evident to me even at the end of the article.  I like your comment about women who self-identify one way or another.  I suppose that there are lots of value hierarchies floating around social interactions that I haven't been conscious of.  

Got me thinking about the impression I might give to someone like the author.  Like, most of my clothes are Kmart but my skincare is eye wateringly expensive?  Hair is coloured but usually scraped into a simple pony tail?  
Its an interesting thought exercise thinking about how you might be perceived by different people.  Where I live now is SOOO casual (like, matching your thongs to your outfit is dressing up). What the author thinks of as low maintenance is just the norm here!  Whereas in Melbourne or Sydney, it might be considered slobby.

elishatraill December 27, 2020

@cat let’s expand on it and completely decouple income support from the partners income for everyone. I see this as being one of the most effective ways to prevent and overcome financial abuse, enabling victims to have resources independent of the perpetrator.   There is increasing evidence around the benefits to havingUBI. Meanwhile, both major parties twiddle around with things like domestic violence leave that not all workers would be entitled to anyway...

elishatraill December 27, 2020

@mamamia-user-482898552 I agree with your statement but would point out that neither “type” is better than the other. I got the sense that the author believes that so-called low maintenance women are morally superior to others, and that their needs are more genuine (and therefore more deserving of being met).

I could be reading too much into the tone of the article though 🤷‍♀️ There’s quite a mix of ideas that are definitely thought provoking but the value judgements strike me as being quite misogynistic.

elishatraill December 27, 2020

The author seems to fall into the trap of disparaging characteristics of other women in order to boost her own confidence.  Her description of the “high maintenance” (ugh!) woman at the gym is very unpleasant to read.

 Even when she talks about everyone deserving their needs be met, there is an air of judgement around which needs are valid, and which are vanity. The idea of suspending judgement entirely (especially on things that have no material impact on your life - like someone wearing makeup at the gym!) seems to not occur to her at all.

elishatraill December 27, 2020

@rush honestly, it’s only because it feels amazing. I’m sure it doesn’t actually firm/plump/refine etc etc but damn does it feel nice in the height of summer (especially if you keep it in the fridge!).

I’m with you on the sheet masks.

elishatraill December 21, 2020

@cat we’re very lucky with parties - there’s almost a collective agreement among parents at our kids school that no one has time for that [email protected]*.  Birthdays are inevitably held at the park or the pool.  Water pistols are sometimes involved. Food is prepared by opening a packet. Coloured tablecloths and balloons if someone’s feeling particularly enthusiastic. Kids have an awesome time and adults get to hang out.

One day I went to a party and they had an esky with a couple of different flavoured ice creams inside. There was a bottle of choc sauce, sprinkles and marshmallows on the table. Each kid got a spoon, a bowl and was told to help themselves.  I am still in awe of the genius of that one.

00:00 / ???