User Comments

fzmclaren April 8, 2021

I would have loved a second (and so would my son) however I’m infertile and it was an 11 year journey getting him. I had to accept it wasn’t going to happen when we tried for a second. That said I do have a closer relationship with my son in large part because he is an only child

fzmclaren March 30, 2021

When I read articles like this the resounding message I am reminded of is: we don’t teach our children how to set boundaries clearly and well and what to do when someone doesn’t respect boundaries. Not everyone will respect the word ‘no’. That is the question you are left with. How much do you want someone in you life who does not respect your boundaries? Is this something you can compromise on in your relationship? And you can’t force someone to respect your boundaries so only you can decide if you can compromise your boundaries or if it’s a non-negotiable. And it’s even more challenging to decide when it’s someone you love


fzmclaren March 28, 2021

The only bar for a child’s birthday party is did they have fun. Are they happy with it? I’ve never made the perfect looking birthday cake but my son loves making and decorating them and they taste good. I don’t care if they don’t meet some bar someone else set or if they’re pin interest worthy; I only care if my son loves it and did he had a good time. And to me that is the only bar that matters.

fzmclaren February 18, 2021

@ella27 I have to deal with this on a regular basis and get very annoyed by the one sided story. It should be all children need to be kind not just boys. And doubly so for consent. The amount of times girls cross this boundary has been astounding especially in today’s environment of #me too. I fully expected parents of girls to teach them about consent and yet they don’t seem to believe my son’s body is his and he gets to decide who and how it’s touched. This conversation has to start in childhood and girls don’t get a free pass because they’re females

fzmclaren February 16, 2021

@cat lady 73 so have I and I was more tired when I was child free than I have ever been as a parent. My child wasn’t a night time sleeper and I will still say sleeping or not sleeping with shift work and a lifetime of insomnia was far harder than having a child who didn’t sleep. And your incredibly lucky if having children is the only time you’ve slept badly or been tired

fzmclaren February 8, 2021

I’ve yet to meet a single parent in real life who cares about school lunches or what anyone has packed for their child. They’re too busy worrying about their own lives

fzmclaren February 8, 2021

I think one of the important things to before kids is to work through your issues from your childhood. Often that has the biggest impact on how you parent and it’s amazing how many issues come up because having kids brings them up. I think that has been a blessing in our family that we did this before kids. This has helped when triggers come up with our own child and we’ve been in a better space to work through it

fzmclaren February 2, 2021

He was truly an inspiring person when we needed inspiration.

fzmclaren January 29, 2021

Most careers and jobs I have had have allowed people to work full time or part time, regardless of whether they have children or not.  When I worked as a nurse, I was deemed a rarity for working fulltime.  Now I work in an office and the minimum is 3 days a week.  I am curious as to which business you are in that isn't allowing it?

fzmclaren January 17, 2021

I think a harder choice will be for those who are frontline workers. They need the vaccine in order to continue working. However this could have ramifications for those trying to fall pregnant and those who need to be vaccinated for their work. Is there any information of how long people need to wait after people they have the vaccine to fall pregnant?

fzmclaren January 10, 2021

Thanks for the link; it was really interesting 

fzmclaren January 10, 2021

@cap'nsquinty 

fzmclaren December 7, 2020

I was one of the lucky ones as my organisation really prioritised staffs well-being and managers regularly not only raised it and discussed it but lived it by example so it became acceptable and the norm to look after yourself. I would have struggled a lot more trying to set that boundary so was relieved they did

fzmclaren October 31, 2020

I have a friend who doesn’t want children. She is entirely happy with her choice. I was someone who wanted them and couldn’t have them. We had a very honest conversation about having kids one day and I said as an infertile person the people I struggle with the most are those who don’t want kids and have them anyway. I can be genuinely happy for those who wanted kids and had them but not for those who didn’t. She said she was the same as she said that group of people were the hardest group as they were the reason so many people said she’d change her mind; because so many people who didn’t change their mind or had kids anyway. I think some people are disrespectful of people’s choices especially when it’s outside what they’re life view regardless of their choices.