User Comments

mamamia-user-936684540 November 28, 2023

This article perfectly captures the rather dysfunctional dymanics that seem to beset groups of women. Many baby group mums graduate to the "school gate" group with similar toxicity. I admire the writer's honesty and insight and her ability to step back from the situation she found herself in.

mamamia-user-936684540 September 12, 2023

Where she is these days she'd better toe the line or she might lose the privledge of eating dinner.

mamamia-user-936684540 September 10, 2023

Surely nobody is suggesting that Ashton condones violence against women? His character reference for his friend indicates nothing more than his sincere belief that his friend was a good guy and shows how effectively he (and no doubt others) were hoodwinked by this psychopath. These bad guys are skilled manipulators. 

mamamia-user-936684540 September 6, 2023

Hollywood women are at risk of losing their individuality. JLH used to have a distinctive face that set her apart from others. There was a warmth about her look and she seemed natural and real. Now I'm guessing you could stoll through Beverly Hills and pass a dozen woman who look just like JLH. We get told that women hate to be invisible but surely they are becoming more so by subscribing to a "cookie cutter" standard of physical attractiveness?

mamamia-user-936684540 July 23, 2023

It's a litigous world we live in, so I can totally understand why a doctor might decline a request for surgery that could put him or her at risk of legal action. Perhaps if more people took responsibility for their own decsions, women like Erin might not encounter this kind of resistance. I recently read of a trans person who opted to "detransition" suing a psychiatrist for providing "gender affirming care". The Australian carried a story earlier this year, about a woman who elected for "top surgery" removing her breasts so she could become more masculine. After a change of heart, she had a baby who she could not breast feed but she was outraged that nobody in the medical field had told her, prior to her top surgery, that this would be an outcome (clearly, it hadn't crossed her own mind!). If we want to empower peole to make their own perfectly valid health choices then we need to be clear that the consequences are owned by them.

mamamia-user-936684540 July 19, 2023

I doubt that anyone is disputing the accuracy of the information, but does anyone really feel that their primary school aged child needs to learn about sexual techniques and positions?  Packaged differently we might call this "porn" rather than "educacation". We put this sort of information in the hands of kids and then complain that they are growing up too fast. 

mamamia-user-936684540 July 11, 2023

Ah ha...so she wanted to minimise the damage she knew she'd be doing. Who is the dysfunctional one?

mamamia-user-936684540 April 20, 2023

Private schools with their strong insistence on conformity around hair, shoes and uniform actually create more of a "level playing field" for all, so students don't have to worry about fashion faux pas or who can afford extensions and acrylic nails etc. These things can assume a ridiculous importance in the lives of teenagers and can distract from the core business of learning. Most schools will show some flexibiity around neurodiverse students. 

mamamia-user-936684540 April 15, 2023

All stupidly priced for fools and their money are soon parted

mamamia-user-936684540 April 6, 2023

I love that she refuses to be defined as a victim.  What a refreshing change in an era where it seems every famous person has been “traumatised “!

mamamia-user-936684540 March 10, 2023

My own mother was also a narcissist and painfully similar to the mum in this article, perhaps not quite as extreme. She also lacked boundaries.  My chosen coping mechanism was to move hundreds of kilometres away in an attempt to have some control over my own life. The criticism and gaslighting remained constant and whenever my mother visited (I wanted my children to have a Grandma) she constantly critiqued my house, my parenting, my appearance and my marriage, never stopping to consider that she was flawed in every aspect of her own unhappy life. We maintained a complex relationships until she passed away last year.   I would never judge anyone for cutting ties with a toxic parent 

mamamia-user-936684540 February 16, 2023

Sparkilng apple juice in a champagne glass is a reasonable substitute too and very refreshing in Summer.

mamamia-user-936684540 February 15, 2023

Definitely a sprinter. The three legged race might seem all fair and equitable but the energy sapping tiredness of both parents isn't going to help the marriage is it?  Why do people have this obsession with "equity" ? It's a harsh reality that sometimes the care burden falls more heavily on the shoulders of one parent than the other, but in the long term it often evens out with the other parent shouldering the bulk of care reponsibilites at a later stage of the child's development (I can tell you I have not taught either of my children to drive and every harrowing hour of supervised driving and tuition has willingly been done my husband...and we are talking about hundreds of hours!). 

It's easy too  to resent and denigrate the contibution of the "breadwinning" parent when you are preoccupied with the demands of endless caring, but the workplace can be a pretty brutal environment too and let's acknowledge that its hard to stay on top of your game with a baby in the house. Maybe mutual support is a prudent path to take.

mamamia-user-936684540 February 13, 2023

So well said!

mamamia-user-936684540 February 1, 2023

We are told that alcohol bans are not the solution although the minute the bans were lifter the violent crimes surged. Odd don't you think? Anyone with a passing knowledge of addiction knows that limiting access is the first necessary step to recovery. Anyone with a passing knowledge of addiction also knows that those in the grips of addiction don't make wise choices. An externally imposed ban is not THE answer. It's just one of many measures that is needed to address a multifaceted problem. I fear for the children of these violent alcoholics. The trauma they are experiencing will create the next generation of addicts. It's a shame our leaders lack the fortitude to protect them from that fate and to ensure the safety of the wider Alice Springs community as well. 

mamamia-user-936684540 January 4, 2023

Ka Ching! Ka Ching!

mamamia-user-936684540 December 5, 2022

A well written analysis 

mamamia-user-936684540 December 3, 2022

@mamamia-user-482898552 

The onus of proof does not rest with the accused.   Nobody has to prove their innocence.   The prosecution must prove guilt beyond reasonable doubt. None of this is “lopsided”

mamamia-user-936684540 November 25, 2022

I remember going to one of these groups with my firstborn.  We sat in a circle and everyone had to say what their prebaby career involved.  Some of these women had been real high-flyers running multi million dollar projects.  It set a very “competitive “ tone that didn’t sit well with me. I never went back to share cordial and play doh with the executive crowd

mamamia-user-936684540 November 21, 2022

I am the same age as the writer and feel similarly (perhaps not quite as strongly). I really think we hit our sexual prime earlier in life and should accept that the libido cools without pathologising it.