User Comments

kate m June 27, 2024

My thoughts are with you Liv, keep fighting, enjoy living. My own stats aren't great, not dissimilar to yours and that's with a treatable yet aggressive breast cancer. Mammogram showed there was nothing - what they took out was 8.5cm. Dense Breasts - something I am actively lobbying for awareness about as you are about OC.

I think for many of us, we never imagine we're the one that will receive the diagnosis. Especially when we're fit, healthy and follow the protocols for early detection - appreciating Ovarian Cancer still does not offer that. That sucks! One of my closest girlfriends had cancer of the appendix, she ran marathons around the world, and had an operation similar to yours, peritonectomy. Her cancer has recently come back. We're devastated for her, her husband and young children. 

For me, knowing my stats helps me so much. It helps me not be delusional or underplay about what has happened and may happen in the future. It reinforces that there is no point sweating the small stuff. And to live in the moment. It is not about living in fear of death, it is about helping us get clear about how precious life is, and to discard the stuff that truly does not matter. Sending you love and ongoing healing wishes 💖

kate m June 15, 2024

What an a-hole. I mean, no gifts....yet buys them for his family and not you. That's like a type of psychological abuse. Look what it's done to your own self esteem. And then you're trying to be understanding etc. Your language of love may be gift giving. In a true partnership we seek to give love to the other in the way they welcome it most. It's sadistic that he buys them for his family. F$ck him, he's not showing he's worthy of you loving him. You are worthy of receiving gifts from someone who truly does loves you, and doesn't impose unilateral rules onto you.

kate m June 15, 2024

Funnily enough, I think everyone looks well in the IG video, except him. He looks pale, like he has makeup on, and that he's had work. Any of those things are his prerogative, it's just not an inspirational picture of health for me.

kate m June 3, 2024

Agree. I like both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. I don't like how Angelina is consistently villainised and Brad is seen as the golden boy whose made some mistakes and come good. 

kate m May 31, 2024

Preface, I've had some lovely dates and met some lovely men. Of course the terrible ones are what we remember. There was one man who takes the cake.

Second date after the first coffee date. We were at a lovely restaurant.
He'd told me on the first date he didn't drink and he ate pretty clean.  He knocked back the beers, keeping on ordering more for himself even though I'd professed genuine tiredness as it was a work night. The whole conversation was about him, and how his former employers were arseholes, that his ex wife was a bitch, how he hated one of his children, but could tolerate the other. 

He kept drinking, was practising 'sexy face' on me, which was anything but, and proceeded to tell me he needed to 'go for a slash' - charming. 

I eventually managed to get us to leave, determinedly insisting I pay for myself, as I did not want to accept anything from him. While we were waiting for our respective Ubers I said I wasn't feeling what I wanted to feel to continue on. He looked absolutely shocked, then said he felt the same way - great I thought!

I wished him well and when in the Uber I got a message from him telling me I'd change my mind, that we'd be great together. I blocked his number.

kate m May 29, 2024

I've enjoyed JLo's music and movies over the years. I didn't pay much attention to the criticism of her. I bought into the love story of her and Ben, and am saddened to think it may be coming to an end. 

I haven't watched her latest memoir movie or doco, as it sounds a bit too self serving for my tastes. I was looking forward to watching her on Altas, and well, I was shocked at how histrionic, OTT I found her acting to be. It was really bad (from my armchair critic POV). That's caused me to do a WTF, and hoping to see her in something where I enjoy her performance again.

kate m May 18, 2024

I hope he has his R Kelly/Harvey Weinstein day of reckoning. His word for 2024 is Love....ha! 

kate m April 12, 2024

@mh78 I googled - there's pics, they're side by side. 

kate m April 8, 2024

I 100% agree that the word choice and tone of the correspondence is wrong. Suggesting modesty, better learning environment etc is both a passive aggressive approach to their real issue that it may be a distraction. Agree that is not acceptable AND

I also believe that a school has a right to say these are the uniform options (I believe they should be able to choose if they wear a skirt/dress or shorts/trousers), and this is how the uniform has to be worn. 
Make it about the Uniform and the boundaries for that, including length. Have a discussion with parents and students if there is disagreement around them with view to agree new boundaries. Make it about the Uniform, not that girls/women's clothing is responsible for how a boy/man behaves.  

kate m March 18, 2024

Hmmm, I'm not sure about the position on this. It's wonderful for someone to have your back. Kate may well be taking the fall for the Comms' team error as has also been suggested. However if she did do it, as a strong, independent woman, I think it is enough that she's owned up to it, and clearly moved on as per the wording in her statement. She can stand up for herself and doesn't always need a man to provide, what, further gravitas? I think she's got enough, herself. 

I think the issue is that the World is making a monumental mountain out of a mole hill. 

kate m March 16, 2024

You really don't need them to understand or be OK with it. Your approach is kind and respectful. You don't need to open it up that they affirm your choice or confirm you're a nice person. Keep it about you and what you're feeling - in the clear, kind tone you have take. 

Also - you're not on dating apps to find a friend. It's appropriate to acknowledge the energy between you feels more like how you feel about a friend, without then suggesting that's what you become. Let the other person suggest it (without the 'I'm hoping in time you'll change your mind', and if it feels like something you want too, go for it. 

kate m February 23, 2024

Not doubting your issues you've listed. What I do not understand is why you choose to continue to live there? Yes, you can maintain you're not going to be driven out, you'll stand your ground etc - and that becomes about expecting them to change. They have clearly and consistently demonstrated they will not change, so what benefit is it to you to stay? Feeling you are in the right (and you may well be) surely is not enough of a benefit to live with this? Expecting them to change, is futile.  And we all know the definition of madness phrase - keeping on doing the same thing (standing up to them) and expecting different results....imagine the freedom if you moved to a new neighbourhood!?

kate m February 6, 2024

😂🤣 where to start with this.....I am sorry to read he feels uncomfortable. I didn't know we were responsible for his emotional wellbeing, and had to change to accommodate his personal desires. 

He clearly hasn't seen men dining at outdoor beach cafes in little else but their budgie smugglers. Or is it that he agrees that they are not sexy, but a woman's flesh just drives men wild so they can not contain themselves.....

I'm not a huge fan of thong bikinis - for myself, or seeing them on others - his attitude and approach certainly makes them more appealing for me, as seriously WTF?!

kate m February 1, 2024

Wow! Just wow. The most beautiful man or woman becomes very ugly when we discover their inner workings are the opposite of beautiful. Also, when we love someone truly and deeply, which I would imagine you would your children, they do become genuinely beautiful to you. We see such beauty in their features. There are also so many expressions of physical beauty, because it really is in the eyes of the beholder.

Your darling girls will know you think this about them. That their grandmother thinks this about them, even if never voiced. I am so sorry that you refuse to see beauty in their looks because of your own narrow definition of aesthetic beauty.

I've modelled, won beauty contests, recognised my looks do come with a privilege, like my skin colour. I am so astounded that you have written this piece to reflect your adamant views. Thank goodness it was anonymous so that your daughters never get to read what they already no doubt know you think of them.

kate m February 1, 2024

What these children, now women have been through is horrendous. They have been abused on all adult fronts: mother, father and then this vile, sick, entitled teacher. With their community also letting them down.

My heart goes out to each of them. They are courageous, strong women. I wish them every happiness for their individual and collective futures. 💖

kate m January 20, 2024

Not that I want my eyes to ever see this - why doesn't Kanye declare 2024 is the year of baring his body the way Bianca is? A Mankini would be a comparative start! 🙄

Appreciate BDSM is ideally consensual, and each to their own if that's someone's jam. Appreciate he may want to bring what goes on behind closed doors out into the open in the name of art. Yet it just all feels creepy, feels like she is being brainwashed and controlled by him. I think it also is showing disrespect to other people and places, as if public expression of their whims is the only thing that matters. Very Kanye, really.

kate m January 11, 2024

2004 North & South as John Thornton - he was tremendous, smouldering. The train station scene in the finale was epic!

kate m January 11, 2024

There are always two sides, and sometimes those two sides will see the other as the protagonist, so it comes down to the individuals doing what is right for them. I have consulted a clinical psychologist about my adult niece. Who according to the psychologist demonstrates narcissistic behaviours.

I acknowledge I have been direct, and possibly too much so, with my niece about her behaviours in the past - she hurt my (late) mother with how she spoke harshly to her, she routinely has friends ditch her because they don't like her behaviours, she says her BIL wants to 'stab her in the stomach' (uttered at Xmas time to his relatives in his house) because he doesn't engage with her behaviours - and 'stabbing' anyone is not his character, indifference is; and she routinely takes shots at me and newly out of a years active treatment for Cancer, I don't have the energy for it.

I said to my therapist that possibly because of my past directness towards her, she is still punishing me. My therapist commented there's a difference between calling someone on their behaviours, and being unkind. My niece said at my mother's passing she hoped her BIL was next - and doubled down when I queried if she was joking, with her saying it makes sense to have those you like least in the family to die next.

When she was unkind again towards me at Xmas with a recurring narrative she likes to bring up, and I asked her why, she countered I am too sensitive and walked off - gas lighting. My therapist has recommended I step away from her; previously my strategy was to manage interactions because of the love I have for my sister. But it's gone beyond that for me now, as I did not survive breast cancer to now put myself into emotionally unsafe situations. And my sister and BIL turn on deaf ears - she is their 'favourite' daughter, and even as a child she was not parented by them on her disrespectful, verbally cutting behaviours towards adults. 

Net, I am aware my niece will have her side, her version, which those in her life would support. I am aware I annoy my niece because I do not feed her narcissistic needs, I do not like her behaviours, and haven't since she was 14 (24 years of these behaviours!).  

So yes two sides, and each side will be 'right' according to their world view.

kate m December 22, 2023

But she cannot and will not let go. And nor will he. 
It sounds like they have a unique, special relationship. Unless she has to go into a care facility, is there any danger to either of them to allow them to continue as they both want? Can other adjustments be put into place? Like do you have EPA to make the call when necessary?

I've been carer to both my late parents, and appreciate that no one wants to go into care, and as much as we wanted for each of them to stay in their home together until they died as per their wishes, that did not happen for either of them when it became about personal safety.

It's a fine balance to strike, and a tough life situation to go through. 💕

kate m December 20, 2023

I loved this whole series. In the second half, it was really lovely to get a glimpse of the closeness of Margaret and the Queen. Even knowing it was a fictional dramatisation, I still found it moving. As I did the ending. I think it was a fabulous 'last hurrah' and look forward to if/when they decide to pick it up again and cover other pivotal times in their lives.