User Comments

kate m February 23, 2024

Not doubting your issues you've listed. What I do not understand is why you choose to continue to live there? Yes, you can maintain you're not going to be driven out, you'll stand your ground etc - and that becomes about expecting them to change. They have clearly and consistently demonstrated they will not change, so what benefit is it to you to stay? Feeling you are in the right (and you may well be) surely is not enough of a benefit to live with this? Expecting them to change, is futile.  And we all know the definition of madness phrase - keeping on doing the same thing (standing up to them) and expecting different results....imagine the freedom if you moved to a new neighbourhood!?

kate m February 6, 2024

😂🤣 where to start with this.....I am sorry to read he feels uncomfortable. I didn't know we were responsible for his emotional wellbeing, and had to change to accommodate his personal desires. 

He clearly hasn't seen men dining at outdoor beach cafes in little else but their budgie smugglers. Or is it that he agrees that they are not sexy, but a woman's flesh just drives men wild so they can not contain themselves.....

I'm not a huge fan of thong bikinis - for myself, or seeing them on others - his attitude and approach certainly makes them more appealing for me, as seriously WTF?!

kate m February 1, 2024

Wow! Just wow. The most beautiful man or woman becomes very ugly when we discover their inner workings are the opposite of beautiful. Also, when we love someone truly and deeply, which I would imagine you would your children, they do become genuinely beautiful to you. We see such beauty in their features. There are also so many expressions of physical beauty, because it really is in the eyes of the beholder.

Your darling girls will know you think this about them. That their grandmother thinks this about them, even if never voiced. I am so sorry that you refuse to see beauty in their looks because of your own narrow definition of aesthetic beauty.

I've modelled, won beauty contests, recognised my looks do come with a privilege, like my skin colour. I am so astounded that you have written this piece to reflect your adamant views. Thank goodness it was anonymous so that your daughters never get to read what they already no doubt know you think of them.

kate m February 1, 2024

What these children, now women have been through is horrendous. They have been abused on all adult fronts: mother, father and then this vile, sick, entitled teacher. With their community also letting them down.

My heart goes out to each of them. They are courageous, strong women. I wish them every happiness for their individual and collective futures. 💖

kate m January 20, 2024

Not that I want my eyes to ever see this - why doesn't Kanye declare 2024 is the year of baring his body the way Bianca is? A Mankini would be a comparative start! 🙄

Appreciate BDSM is ideally consensual, and each to their own if that's someone's jam. Appreciate he may want to bring what goes on behind closed doors out into the open in the name of art. Yet it just all feels creepy, feels like she is being brainwashed and controlled by him. I think it also is showing disrespect to other people and places, as if public expression of their whims is the only thing that matters. Very Kanye, really.

kate m January 11, 2024

2004 North & South as John Thornton - he was tremendous, smouldering. The train station scene in the finale was epic!

kate m January 11, 2024

There are always two sides, and sometimes those two sides will see the other as the protagonist, so it comes down to the individuals doing what is right for them. I have consulted a clinical psychologist about my adult niece. Who according to the psychologist demonstrates narcissistic behaviours.

I acknowledge I have been direct, and possibly too much so, with my niece about her behaviours in the past - she hurt my (late) mother with how she spoke harshly to her, she routinely has friends ditch her because they don't like her behaviours, she says her BIL wants to 'stab her in the stomach' (uttered at Xmas time to his relatives in his house) because he doesn't engage with her behaviours - and 'stabbing' anyone is not his character, indifference is; and she routinely takes shots at me and newly out of a years active treatment for Cancer, I don't have the energy for it.

I said to my therapist that possibly because of my past directness towards her, she is still punishing me. My therapist commented there's a difference between calling someone on their behaviours, and being unkind. My niece said at my mother's passing she hoped her BIL was next - and doubled down when I queried if she was joking, with her saying it makes sense to have those you like least in the family to die next.

When she was unkind again towards me at Xmas with a recurring narrative she likes to bring up, and I asked her why, she countered I am too sensitive and walked off - gas lighting. My therapist has recommended I step away from her; previously my strategy was to manage interactions because of the love I have for my sister. But it's gone beyond that for me now, as I did not survive breast cancer to now put myself into emotionally unsafe situations. And my sister and BIL turn on deaf ears - she is their 'favourite' daughter, and even as a child she was not parented by them on her disrespectful, verbally cutting behaviours towards adults. 

Net, I am aware my niece will have her side, her version, which those in her life would support. I am aware I annoy my niece because I do not feed her narcissistic needs, I do not like her behaviours, and haven't since she was 14 (24 years of these behaviours!).  

So yes two sides, and each side will be 'right' according to their world view.

kate m December 22, 2023

But she cannot and will not let go. And nor will he. 
It sounds like they have a unique, special relationship. Unless she has to go into a care facility, is there any danger to either of them to allow them to continue as they both want? Can other adjustments be put into place? Like do you have EPA to make the call when necessary?

I've been carer to both my late parents, and appreciate that no one wants to go into care, and as much as we wanted for each of them to stay in their home together until they died as per their wishes, that did not happen for either of them when it became about personal safety.

It's a fine balance to strike, and a tough life situation to go through. 💕

kate m December 20, 2023

I loved this whole series. In the second half, it was really lovely to get a glimpse of the closeness of Margaret and the Queen. Even knowing it was a fictional dramatisation, I still found it moving. As I did the ending. I think it was a fabulous 'last hurrah' and look forward to if/when they decide to pick it up again and cover other pivotal times in their lives. 

kate m December 18, 2023

I found this such a appalling comment made by his attorney. Talk about try and flip the narrative that he is in fact not guilty:

 Jonathan Majors' attorney, Priya Chaudhry, tells us, "It is clear that the jury did not believe Grace Jabbari's story of what happened in the SUV because they found that Mr. Majors did not intentionally cause any injuries to her. We are grateful for that."

Chaudhry continues, "We are disappointed, however, that despite not believing Ms. Jabbari, the jury nevertheless found that Mr. Majors was somehow reckless while she was attacking him. Mr. Majors is grateful to God, his family, his friends, and his fans for their love and support during these harrowing eight months. Mr. Majors still has faith in the process and looks forward to fully clearing his name."

kate m December 6, 2023

I've read the two recent advice columns you've written, and want to commend you on approaching it in such an emotionally intelligent manner. You offer empathy and clarity of your point of view with sound reasoning. I look forward to your next advice column - more for your perspective than the problem. Really enjoying these, thank you! 😍

kate m December 2, 2023

I wouldn't put Angelina Jolie or her previous relationship in the same category as Amber Heard. AJ comes across as someone who dances to the beat of her own drum and has been of measurable service to those in need at an international level. I have huge respect personally for her.  Brad - never appealed to me. 

AH and JD comes across as a toxic, narcissistic couple who were both self serving and vile towards each other. 

kate m November 26, 2023

What is important though is that these mistakes don’t define you as a person. Not if you admit them, apologise and work on the underlying issue behind them.
I don't think it's as simple as that. It sounds like you have some very real, major issues, and ones that I think would take years to unpack and work on - similar length of time Active Treatment can take. Which is something you live with 24/7 when you're in it. I hope that since you chose to posture as a Cancer patient you do put in the same amount of work to heal & atone, that we do in our fight to stay alive. 

It is affronting that you would choose an illness to get the attention you felt you needed. As another poster has already commented, the side effects we go through are horrendous. Having Cancer (in my case one of the myriad types of Breast Cancer) is so much more involved than what the general public know. I didn't know until I had to live it for myself. I really hope you never have to go through what we have. Equally I hope you work harder on yourself than your article suggests you have.

kate m November 22, 2023

Thank you for providing an insight into your lives. I love how you, Dane and your family are committed to living life robustly and fully, exploring and enjoying all that interests you! You shatter paradigms! 💖

kate m November 19, 2023

30 years ago, I had discussed with my now ex husband what sort of ring I wanted in response to his questions. Gold band and solitaire (round) diamond - I wasn't fussed about size of diamond at all. 

What he put to me was an option of one of 2 pear shaped diamonds via a friend of ours who was a jeweller. He felt that pear shaped was more unique than solitaire. This was important to him that I had something 'different', 'unique' in an otherwise traditional setting. 

He expected me to choose the bigger diamond, I went with the smaller that had better quality. I didn't have the heart to say to him that I disliked the pear shape and would prefer a simple solitaire as originally discussed. I think I was so thrilled to be finally getting married after 8 years together, I let it go. 

Since our divorce, I got the ring remodelled to a more contemporary design, and wear it liking the design and ring without loving the pear shape. 

kate m October 29, 2023

I know this post references a younger woman. I am in my 50's. I was told I have 'lumpy' aka dense breasts. I wish that my past GPs had recommended an Ultrasound as a best practice for women with dense breasts. 

My breast cancer was discovered 12 months ago this week. There was never a discernible lump. I am very comfortable touching and know my breasts well.  It was an intermittent burning sensation that alerted me something may be wrong. My new GP was onto it quickly. In order to have an Ultrasound, I had to have a Mammogram - both self funded (as my previous publicly funded Mammogram only 14 months prior was clear). 

The Mammogram and 3D Mammogram were clear - 10-20% of Mammograms do NOT pick up Breast Cancer, particularly NOT when your breasts are Dense. The Ultrasound showed a 'weird looking shape' - radiologist's term - which was Breast Cancer. 

One week later I had a mastectomy and reconstruction, and what they took out was 8.5cm! Again, no discernible lump. If I had known as a woman with dense breasts, that it is best practice internationally to get Ultrasounds, I would have gladly paid for them. 

kate m October 27, 2023

I think it is good to understand the picture of this young man, for the reason that it reinforces that murderers come from all backgrounds. And if anything it might awaken readers to appreciating that even well educated, 'success stories' who appear to be living a life that gets lots of green ticks from society, can also commit the most heinous and shocking of crimes, taking another's life.  Tragic for Lilie and her loved ones! Tragic for those that loved Paul, that they now have to live with the fact he chose to end Lilie's life.

kate m October 21, 2023

Speaking to Vanity Fair to celebrate the milestone anniversary, Practical Magic director Griffin Dunne explained that, during filming and the time surrounding the movie’s release, she didn’t want to speak about the hex that was placed on production. 
"At the time I would sort of deny it. I didn’t want the vibe," she said. 
Griffin Dunne is a 68 year old man, married to Anna Bingemann, an Australian Stylist, since 2009.

kate m October 9, 2023

Really enjoyed this series. Gave me greater appreciation for both of them. His commitment to his football career, their huge love for each other, and also how supportive Victoria has been of his career. They both come across as likeable and real, which I’m aware is contrary to their public perception. 

kate m October 1, 2023

Appreciate you only know the generation you're in now, first hand. I would suggest each generation has their own challenges that can impede the fun we're hardwired to seek when we're in our early-mid 20's.

For my generation, it was the Aids epidemic, so we were all wanting to enjoy sex - either with our long term partners, or one nighters - and it was like the grim reaper was standing over us about the risks of having sex, with condoms and practicing 'safe sex' were new concepts.

Then in 1987, the year I finished University, it was the start of that Global Recession, kicking off on October 19th, 1987. So graduate jobs suddenly disappeared, while there was a whole bunch of us graduates. And it of course didn't just affect graduates!

We had the Berlin Wall fall in 1989, and before that Live Aid in 1985.  

This is not a p$ssing context, rather to point out that each generation would likely claim similar sentiments. And what Gen Z can be very proud of is how financially aware, and independent you are as a generation. And that while there's a long way to go, it has improved around issues like Consent, and clear boundaries around in/appropriate behaviours.