User Comments

kate m November 16, 2020


kate m November 2, 2020

I wonder if it would change the narrative if Candice and other women who are vilified for their past choices, if they owned and embraced them?  The sharing without permission is of course completely inappropriate - I am referring to the sexual adventures. Candice of course can view it as a mistake, that's her prerogative. Another way to view may be that she was enjoying and exploring her sexuality and living life in the moment, and that is something she has no regrets about. It was where she was at then and had a damn fine time allowing her wild side to shine. Fast forward to recent years,  her priorities and heart are in her marriage, children and building a loving family. And being on SAS Australia allows her wild side to come out another way reflective of where she's at now.  If people still want to criticise/slur her, that's on them: says more about them, than it does about her.

kate m August 3, 2020

I guess everyone has their own experience as someone adopted. And you of course are entitled to feel how you feel, and share that. I hope readers (and you the author) understand, it does not mean that is true for every adopted child.

Whilst my parents were not the sperm and egg that created me, they are my parents. The issues I had growing up with them, were exactly the same as my biological older sister had with them. It was due to family dynamics/personalities, not because I was adopted.

I know this for a fact, as 20 years ago when in my 30's I kept wondering if maybe there was something I was missing: that I felt happy, content, loved and normal, even though I was adopted. Because society certainly suggests you can not. You're told by people outside of your family unit, that you must be feeling lonely, or that something is missing. So I went on a journey to see if I was possibly repressing some latent angst emotions that I needed to address - as I don't like hiding from myself. What I found out was what I said in my second paragraph.

I don't feel lonely. I am happy with my upbringing. I know I am loved, and I love. I know who I am as a person, warts and all. There's nothing missing for me.  I am committed to Mum & Dad, and in recent years I switched countries to become their full time carers, which is an honour and privilege to support them and guide them, as they did with me, growing up.  Not all Adoption stories contain angst - or the angst we do feel is society's judgement and projections onto us.

carosmile January 15, 2014

What am I missing here? Given that Australia claims to be a secular state where: Section 116 of the Constitution provides: The Commonwealth shall not make any law for establishing any religion, or for imposing any religious observance, or for prohibiting the free exercise of any religion, and no religious test shall be required as a qualification for any office or public trust under the Commonwealth

Therefore why would the Lord's Prayer or any religion's prayer be said?

carosmile January 14, 2014

Let us not forget that other ancient tradition of always looking each person present in the eye when clinking glasses and saying cheers/salut/cin cin/bottoms up - so that they can be safe in the knowledge that we're not trying to poison them. :-)

carosmile January 14, 2014

I'm not sure re the drugs side, but I am excluded for donating blood simply because I lived in London during the 'Mad Cows Disease' outbreak. That is over 20 years ago, but I'm still not eligible.

I would doubt as much as you do that my blood from over 20 years ago is still 'tainted' and am also a 'picture of good health'. I guess there are medical reasons their end that justify the exclusion. Which I personally choose to respect since I am not a medical expert myself with the knowledge to challenge them.

carosmile January 14, 2014

I've been shaking hands since I can remember, and I can't recall when or where my first experience was - social or business. It's great that that CEO took the time to give you that tuition. I have to say from a business context it is very off putting when you shake a woman's hand and you get the limpid fish in response. The hand feel of it is slightly creepy (NOT suggesting the person is, just the way they shake hands is) and it does position the woman in my mind as not being very confident in a professional context - all from a handshake!

My Dad is a Free Mason member from eons ago, and he still refuses to reveal their secret hand shake - I've shaken his hand many times to try and figure it out ;-)

carosmile January 14, 2014


carosmile January 14, 2014

My House-sitter over Xmas was an English Social Worker who acts as an advocate for at risk children, and has now emigrated here. In our 3 hour interview we got talking about Fostering & Adoption (which made up about 2 1/2 hours of the 3). I was amazed to learn what a supported process it is in the UK. That children are looking for their 'forever family'.

My understanding of the process for both Adoption and Fostering based on past research I've done is that it's just about impossible for a single woman to adopt intercountry both from eligibility, costs, time and hoops to jump through.

And fostering here from what I have researched does not typically extend to adoption which would be my desired outcome.

Therefore reading this about the Adoption gatherings, it makes me wish in this moment I lived in the UK. I feel for the children who 'miss out', of course. And I would believe that the amount of those children would be reduced by this sort of interactive process.

We can always find fault, things can often be improved. I tend to look at it from the point of view of the good it is doing for these children and people who want to provide a forever family for them.

Thank you for this post, I do hope the laws change swiftly in this country, to make it more readily accessible to the many good people who would love to provide a loving home for children.

carosmile January 12, 2014

Thanks to you and everyone who provided more info. The comments here are helping build a clearer picture where I am starting to believe this is about 'significance' (to coin a Tony Robbins human 'need' - we all have it, just to what degree - if you prescribe to that school of thought) or as the author says 15 minutes of fame.

carosmile January 12, 2014

I can't speak for Craigvn, but I can say that I read his comment as being authentic. That you are lucky to be alive as even with skilled doctors in a medical environment things can still not work in your favour. Thank goodness you and your baby did survive it! I can only imagine how traumatic and worrisome that would be for you and all those involved. I do hope all is good for you now?

carosmile January 12, 2014

Ruth Fowler may have a degree in English literature, but her language in her tweet reflects a pun on her surname more than an ability with the English language :p

Here's more about Ruth:

If Dr Amy Tuteur's claims are correct, I think she does raise some valid points. However how did she come across this 'truth'? I can't find anything online to corroborate her claims.

carosmile January 12, 2014

You might enjoy this book by the wonderful Debbie Ford (also in Oprah's inner circle before her death last year): Dark Side of the Light Chasers:

Here's an excerpt: "Why do we find ourselves disproportionately angry with the selfishness of a friend, the laziness of a coworker, the arrogance of a family member - or even the rudeness of a stranger? Why do the same old things get to us so easily, and so intensely? Our “same old things,” Debbie Ford explains, are clues to our dark sides - and to the emotions and traits that we fear most in ourselves."

If you, I or anyone are irritated by something we see or hear, then it is our trigger and it is about examining our own feelings towards it. I found this book to be incredibly insightful and stands the test of time, and for me personally it reduced the tendency to get triggered by what other people are doing, and look to understand more what is behind their choices, and possibly my reaction (if still there).

All the best :-)

carosmile January 9, 2014

Seems like they joined the TMZ bandwagon, where I first saw the post:

Could have been a great opportunity to have taken a different approach to the online tabloids, instead of mimicking them.

carosmile January 9, 2014

I'm aware that people who hurt others and/or animals are likely to be very hurt, damaged people themselves. And that is no excuse. I don't think you can offer 'good behaviour' sentencing to someone who has demonstrated patently cruel behaviour (be that to human or animal).

In many ways I would like them to experience what they have done to the poor innocent animal - the sad thing is that chances are they have already.

I'm all for much much stiffer penalties and would also suggest as a society we need to teach people to be kind to one another and to animals. As these people are likely to be a product of their environment and what is 'normal' to them.

carosmile January 7, 2014

A good friend of mine, who eats & exercises like a horse, looks spectacular in Kookai as a 5ft 6 natural size 8, whereas I just look like an actual horse in their clothing....or maybe it's a whale, as a near 6ft, 10-12.

Review tends to suit my frame more and I feel more like a Princess when I try on their clothes. Cheap & cheerful Revenge is a god send for my shape with lots of wonderful shapely maxi's to choose from in summer.

Having a bestie who is another eat/exercise like a horse size 4-6 at 5ft 2, I am empathetic to the more petite women who struggle to find clothes that complement their superbness. So am happy to learn that Kookai is a great option for them - I just wish I knew this and had saved myself the un-fun experiences of having to stand out in the open wearing stuff that does nothing for my own body shape.

Witchery stuff often looks crap on my frame. Sportsgirl can be hit & miss. Portmans is more hit. I guess for all of us, whatever dimensions we are, it's about finding the retailer that suits our frame, and remembering that the majority of us are in the same boat even though we are all different shapes & sizes.

carosmile January 7, 2014

Here is a link to the site where Gwyneth refers to the Detox process as created by Dr Alejandro Junger MD which was written in 2008 and then the update here for 2014

Gwyneth consults health professionals and then advocates them if it works for her, she says ‘I asked my doctor, a detox diet specialist, for the guidelines he uses to achieve a good detox that is not hallucinogenic….’

Her 2008 plan is for 7 days only. No more. She also says: “Make sure you check with your doctor before you start any detox”. The 2014 one looks to be for 3 days.

I personally do not have a problem with her acting as an advocate. I see her as an example of someone who puts her health as a priority in her life, something I relate to personally.

She also advocates Tracy Anderson’s exercise tips, who has been her personal trainer for years.

Back in 2003 I did the Dr Joshi detox who she was then advocating and I loved it. I checked with my own doctor beforehand as is recommended to do. I was never hungry and I felt fantastic. It also made me more aware of food choices on an ongoing basis, though for me I tend to subscribe to ‘Eat Right For Your Blood Type’ as my on going guide (Type A), as it reflects what I have already determined works well with my system health wise and reduces stomach issues for me.

What I found mean spirited was to diminish her legitimacy as an actress with such phrases as: “It turns out that Paltrow – along with being Very Famous, married to someone Very Famous and Acting in Movies that are marketed on the basis she is Very Famous” and to demean her as a person, with such phrases as: “*wonderful* tips and tricks to living a more Gwyneth-worthy life.” & 'Go home GP...', in order to make the point of not liking the detox. Jamila and anyone has every right not to want to do it, or like it. I personally don’t think putting down GP in the process adds anything to that position.

carosmile January 7, 2014

Fair question & Happy New Year to you too. It is based on personal experience. I cover it off in another response, but happy to reiterate it more fully here. The detox's I have chosen to undertake in the past have all been for health reasons, and have been monitored professionally (bar the once with the master cleanse which I hated - but curiously was not hungry on - and stopped after a few days. I did that one out of curiosity and because a male vegan friend who was very fit & active swore by it ).

As part of that, the Health Professional (Naturopath or Doctor depending on the detox I have done) has advised me that it is typical to feel nausea and at times it may even cause you to vomit in that first week. They explained this was due to the level of toxins in your system. And second week it is suggested you will experience the ‘break through’ and you feel great etc.

The first detox I did was in my 20's (I'm well passed that now), and I remember going back to my doctor worried because I was feeling fine, great in fact in that first week (and all the way through). I thought I'd done something 'wrong', but I had followed it to the letter. He explained it was because I did not have that many toxins in my system to remove but that they needed to forewarn me this may happen as of course they can't know how I would react going in, and that is ‘worst case scenario’.

I have had similar experiences over the years. In a space say of 20 years I have done about 5-7 different detox's, so it's not a yearly activity for me, and it is always health related vs trying to lose weight (and I would be lying if I did not say I hoped that would be a side benefit - and it never has happened for me when detoxing, it's about spring cleaning my insides).

I hope that answers your question, and it is fair to pull me up on it, I am a lengthy poster as is, and in my bid to curtail it to a degree, I did not address that adequately originally.

It may be worth adding I am blessed with excellent health because I do take care of myself very well (not perfectly, I wont give up dark chocolate, package chips or wine ;-) ) but I have had to work through stomach issues for a big part of my teen-early adult life, and detoxing was a small part of that process as long term it has been about working out a sustainable eating approach health wise and working on my own environmental life choices. I have found a detox has worked well to cleanse me out (I have also participated in colonic irrigations as well which have their own controversy as well) and I feel really happy doing them even though I wouldn’t call them ‘fun’, rather I find it is supportive of your health.

I sincerely appreciate they are not for everyone. I respect people may not advocate them or want to participate. I have no doubt some will be doing it for the wrong reasons - crash diet which a true detox is not in my mind. It concerns me though when I see reactions of fear and condemnation of GwenP when the two Cleanses on her site are under the guidance of Dr Alejandro Junger MD and she states she requested something that has sufficient nutritional value over a short 7 day (not ongoing) period, and she encourages people to consult a doctor before beginning any detox (this is for the 2008 detox, the 2014 one appears to be only for 3 days).

I think the Master Cleanse is the widely known Detox to be most concerned about from a nutritional POV.

carosmile January 7, 2014

That's certainly one way to look at it. I choose to look at it another way. I see a short term cleanse/detox as coming from a place of self love.

I am not sure if you have ever done a detox before? I have undertaken different ones over the years, with all but one being ones advocated by naturopaths or Drs and closely monitored (including Dr Joshi’s as advocated previously by GwenP). I have never in fact felt hungry on them and the ones I did offered plenty of healthy clean food choices - with generally no limitation of quantity of those choices.

And whilst the warning does come from the health professionals that you may feel like shite, I have been fortunate enough not to have because my diet is overall pretty clean normally. The warning is for those who have been eating a lot of processed, high sugar, fatty foods. If I felt momentarily ‘bad’ because those toxins were exiting my body, that also would make me happy and would far outweigh the short term discomfort.

I will undertake a detox when I feel I have gone off the rails too far from my normal healthy eating approach which has never been about deprivation. The trigger is usually if my IBS is playing up which is my warning sign I need to pay more attention to my food choices as I have not been taking good enough care of myself.

My quest has always been to keep feeling good inside with what I eat, after years of doctor & hospital visits trying to figure out what my extreme stomach pain is caused from.

For me it’s about consuming foods that work positively with my own unique system (we all have unique systems!) and a detox can be a great way to get me back onto the playing field that my body thrives best on.

I also believe stress, environment and toxic people are also things that can produce negative toxins and a detox from those elements can also be beneficial, be that learning how to disengage or making some permanent life choices.

All of that to me is about loving and respecting myself and I certainly feel very happy that I am doing that for my body and my health. It is never about weight loss for me. If I wanted to achieve that, I would adopt another approach that was also health based vs deprivation.

My last detox was in 2007, as I haven't felt the need health-wise since then, but I am absolutely open to it should I do.

I appreciate you look at it differently - each to their own :-)

carosmile January 7, 2014

Appreciate this was written to be 'tongue in cheek', though wonder if it was also an opportunity to yet again bag out Gwyneth Paltrow?

A cleanse/detox is not a diet. It is a short term process where you are looking to clean out your system. There are a massive variety of cleanses/detox's to choose from, many of them are liquid only. They are not meant to be about losing weight, getting in shape etc.

It is about ridding your body of toxins caused by processed foods, sugar, alcohol etc. They are tough going, not any amount of fun and often there will be a period of feeling like absolute shite (even to the point of vomiting) as your body is discharging all the toxins, and then the clouds part and you feel good. That feeling sick etc reflects just how many toxins were in your system to begin with, if your diet is not too toxic then you won’t feel sick.

They are never for the faint hearted, and should never be a long term, sustainable solution, some may well question whether they are necessary at all - that is a choice for the individual to make for themselves.

Gwyneth is not the only one to offer a cleanse/detox choice on the internet or in print. Again it is not a diet plan such as Jenny Craig, Atkins, Paleo etc.

As far as her career and whether her fame is earned or on the back of others. I took a look at her wikipedia page here:

I counted 49 films, 25 awards nominations (of varying types), 4 music singles to name just a few of her personally achieved accomplishments. Her passion in her world is food & lifestyle, which she shares with others. We all have a choice on whether we engage with it or not ourselves.

I really struggle (and feel like a broken record saying this) with bagging out others, even in the name of humour. She seems to be an easy target because she appears to know who she is and will put herself out there with her views, plus she is viewed as aesthetically beautiful which seems to trigger a negative response for some because of that.

I think good on her for both achieving in her chosen career and sharing her passions in life, whilst being a mother and wife living in a celebrity world that most of us will always be on the outside looking in at. I don’t always agree with what comes out of her mouth, I do like her courage to live her life her way, perceiving a character that is genuine and devoid of a mean spirit - I don’t always feel that about posts here unfortunately.