I rarely get my makeup done, and for a very obvious reason.
Namely, I am not a model, nor am I some kind of internet ‘influencer’. Not a single person on this planet wants to give me cashola for spruiking detox tea or at-home teeth whitener, which is honestly a shame because I can pose with those things as damn well as a bikini clad 18-year-old can.
Given my muggle status, I have only ever paid for makeup to be professionally splattered on my face a handful of times – the Year 11 school formal, my good friend’s 21st birthday, and because I scored a free voucher via email once.
The ‘free makeup application’ email is precisely why I got my makeup done for my 23rd ‘birthday drinks’. And boy, am I glad that I did.
But let me back track a lil’ bit first.
After the makeup magician had finished prepping my face with all sorts of potions and wizard dust, she applied my foundation as per usual (with a brush and one of those bouncy spongy thingy majigs).
Then - THEN - she skipped the whole "setting powder" thing that, you know, every makeup person ever normally applies on the top of foundation, and... well...
She proceeded to cover my entire face with highlighting powder instead.
I was so stunned to see the lovely makeup magician dip her brush into the highlighter pan, I actually blurted out: "Um... you realise that's highlighter, and not setting powder, right?"
She looked down at me angelically, and replied, "Trust me."
I couldn't, so I didn't. This woman was clearly batsh*t bloody crazy, and could not be reasoned with. I must report her to the beauty overlords immediately, I thought, imagining the imminent reality of rocking up to my own rooftop drinks as both the birthday girl and a human mirror.
With a grimace and a wince, the makeup magician doused my face in Hourglass' Ambient Light powder.
A-yup! My entire face. Including my T-Zone. With shiny, light reflecting illuminating powder. AKA the powder YouTubers say should only go on top of your cheekbones and on the tip of your nose. AKA the powder that should be used verrrry sparingly.
AKA the powder that was now all over my bloomin' face.
I internally chastised myself for choosing to go the "I'll get my makeup done!" route when something like this tends to transpire every damn time, before slowly opening my eyes to look at my reflection.
My skin looked...good. It looked like I only drink organic Jesus tears, or eat the secret fruit of Narnia, or something.
You see, the Hourglass powder might be a highlighter, but it's subtle enough to set foundation too, leaving me with a subtle, dewy look that regular setting powders just don't give.
I wasn't shiny...I was glowy. GLOWY GODDAMMIT.
I swallowed my pride, sank back in my chair, and let the knowledge that I actually know squat about makeup wash over me while the makeup magician finished her work.
And then I bought the damn highlighter and got the jeff out of there.