I hate to be an alarmist, or even a tad dramatic while clutching at the most bizarre of straws, but does the royal family want to stop ruining our planet in their mindlessly selfish pursuit of a bigger family?
Confused? Oh, so was I. Until I wasn’t anymore.
Let me take you back a step before you, too, come to the startling realisation that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have just booked themselves a one-way ticket to destroying the world without so much as a thought of the peasants that lie in their wake.
Okay. So. On a recent royal tour of Poland, the Duchess of Cambridge joked she and Prince William should have another baby after being gifted a present designed for newborns.
How flippant. Ignorant! Silly. She might as well have just made a joke about murdering a litter of tiny Labrador puppies.
Obviously, a third royal baby means climate change will just happen faster, we will experience more deadly heatwaves and the little baby’s entrance into earth will kill off many, many animals. What a selfish little bébé.
But don’t just take my word for it.
Family planning group Having Kids took it upon themselves to warn the royal couple of the monumental, world-ending decision they joked of making, writing an open letter to a couple who will definitely take notice and not at all have no idea who they are.