Happy birthday, Prince George. You’re two. Which is lovely for you. But, maybe not so much for your mum.
(Do I call you that? I am writing mum-to-mum so possibly I can just call you Kate? Katie? Luv?)
Today your little fella turns two.
It’s a milestone, a moment in time to be held, rejoiced, and looked back upon with wonder at how the heck you ever got through that year.
Turning two is a different type of feeling for us mums. Their first birthday is all about us. US.
We made it through a year. We survived. It’s about cracking open a nice bottle of champers and reflecting on the trials of feeding and sleeping, of first steps and first smiles.
But turning two is all about them.
The relaxing glass of champers turns into a hastily sipped G&T as you attempt to put together the Thomas Wooden Railway Table. The solitary reflection on their first steps and first words is put aside until after the Woman’s Weekly choo-choo train cake is decorated.
Two is the edge of the precipice, in just the blink of an eye little George is no longer a baby, but a child.
A cute-as-a-button-rolly-as-a-pudding-frustrating-as-all-get-up child.
Your life is about to be transformed into one of complete and total extremes.
You will wonder just how you can be so head over heels in love with someone who totally sh*ts you off at times and drives you up the wall on a daily basis.
You will wonder how you can feel so soothed by stroking the warm cheek of the same sleeping beauty who kicked you in the shin and threw peas at your face.
You will wonder just where your sweet little toddler vanished to, until he reaches out for you, embracing you with a dribbly kiss and melts your heart all over again.
Welcome to two.
Here are some of the greatest things about two-year olds.
1. Terrible twos.
We’ve all heard that cliche haven’t we? And we’ve all heard from mums of three-year olds who claim two isn’t actually terrible at all when you compare it to a three-nager, or from mums of four-year olds who talk about the “Ferocious fours”.
Hogwash. I am here to tell you they are wrong. There isn’t anything as terrible as a two-year old.