Please note this article was written with tongue-firmly-in-cheek and full acknowledgement of these being very #firstworldproblems.
What about some of that juicy ham your mum ordered from the butcher (read: it’s fancy)?
Mmmmm, just imagine yourself dousing a prawn in tartare sauce and shoving it greedily into your mouth….
No, really. Do it. Please imagine. Because as anyone who is with child right now knows, this excitement is at least one long year away. It’s a distant shimmering oasis that’s a painful labour and many sleepless nights away.
So while you’re stuffing your face without a care in the world this Christmas, spare a thought for the expecting women in your life — hell, the expecting women of Australia — who are checking their baby apps to figure out whether custard carries a risk of harmful bacteria (it can, FYI). Here’s what they’ll be thinking…
The drinks situation. It’s a struggle.
Pregnant women are some of the few people who truly understand the obscene amount families drink during the festive season. They also understand that the Drinks On Offer list is usually as follows:
Once you refuse all of the above, your gracious host will look sheepish and offer you a glass of tap water. TAP WATER. A word of advice, mums-to-be? BYO a soft drink and make sure the kids’ table don’t rack off with it.