real life

"I'm having a perfect pregnancy and my mum just miscarried."


Many of us have experienced it ourselves, and if not, most of us would know a family member or a friend who has suffered through the pain of a miscarriage.

But what happens when you’re pregnant and the person who has miscarried is your mum?

Reddit user Ianthia wrote about the sadness that had been weighing on her for the last two months, after finding herself in this challenging situation. She went on to explain that the closer she gets to having her baby, the more the pain of her mum’s miscarriage weighs her down.

"I can't shake the feeling in the back of my head that I shouldn't be 100% happy." Image via iStock.

Ianthia wrote, "About two months ago... I think I was about 27 or 28 weeks pregnant, but I may have been as far as 32 (so late August to early September), I met up with my mum and dad. I found out that my mum had been pregnant... and had miscarried."

Ianthia explains that her mum is in her 40s and believed, "her [mum's] baby carrying ability isn't what it used to be, she said it herself. But now I can't shake the feeling in the back of my head that I shouldn't be 100% happy about my healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, because my mum lost her baby."

"That would have been my little brother or sister." Image via iStock.

"That would have been my little brother or sister. My happiness has to hurt her on some level, it feels like I'm rubbing my healthy pregnancy in her face or something," she continued.

Ianthia went on to share that her mum is overjoyed that the baby is healthy and "can't wait for her to be born." Yet Ianthia still feels guilt that she has a healthy baby while her mum lost hers.

"I can't stand it. I don't even know how to bring it up to her because I don't want to hurt her by mentioning it. I almost had a sibling younger than my baby. There are feelings that I don't know what to do with," she concluded.

What would you do in this situation?