
Yvette, mum to Dimitri, was hospitalised with postnatal depression after experiencing suicidal thoughts. Her holistic approach to recovery continues today.
In the first few months of motherhood I felt more than exhausted, more than overwhelmed. Everything got under my skin – comments from family members on how I should raise my son, anything my husband said, and frustrations of yearning to be “the perfect mother”. Initially I assumed it was the baby blues. I often found myself crying, asking myself “Why did I sign up for motherhood?” Many days I could not cope and my anxiety went through the roof. My routine with my son Dimitri was effortless yet it felt so robotic and I felt I wasn’t doing enough as a mother.
It took me months to see my doctor. Dimitri would have been about seven months old when I finally booked myself in to see a psychologist. There is a very apparent stigma in our society regarding mental health, more so for mothers. I hear mothers, celebrities saying that motherhood is the best thing ever. No one tells you the deeper, darker side to it.

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During my contemplation of my suicide I told my husband I was done with everything, especially living. He made the decision to take me to hospital and after being assessed by various psychiatrists in the Emergency Unit, I was placed into the psychiatric unit to rest. I think the fact that I did not fear death impacted me immensely. What was the point of living if I failed? I thought my husband and son were better off without me. But this melancholy was not me, it was my disease - my postnatal depression.
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