50 Shades of Cray: Pore strips for your teeth

This week just keeps on giving.

First it is was BB Cream for nails, then pre cellulite and now, pore strips for your teeth.

Yes, your teeth have pores. And they are probably disgusting.

Dr. Jessica Emery, an aesthetic dentist and founder of Sugar Fix Dental Loft has designed a “pore strip” tooth whitening system. Presumably because you didn’t have enough beauty problems to worry about.

“Your teeth do have ‘pores’, little openings on the surface called tubules,” said Dr. Jessica Emery.

In much the same way that pore strips remove blackhead gunk from across your nose, pore teeth strips are designed to take plaque gunk off your pearly whites.

Um, in theory. Apparently just like our pores can get clogged and form millia and blackheads, tubules on our teeth can get clogged with stains. And here’s where the pore strips come in. Wait, are you following? I’m not following.

Lucky for us, Dr Emery has come up with the solution for our disgusting teeth needs. Her $99, three-step process involves three applications of a carbamide peroxide gel (hydrogen peroxide is usually used in whitening treatments) then “pore strips” are applied to your teeth and you endure 15 minutes of smiling like a hyena under a bright light. Sounds a lot like… regular tooth whitening treatments?

Good times.

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