Police called after man freaks out over spider.

Someone out there is as terrified of spiders as I am.

Police in Sydney’s north were called out to a report of domestic violence on Sunday night.

A post on the Harbourside Local Area Command’s Facebook page stated:

“Wollstonecraft 2.00am. Police received numerous calls in relation to a violent domestic, with reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, your [sic] dead! Die Die!!”, with the sounds of furniture being tossed around the unit. Numerous police cars responded to the address and began banging on the door.”

This is the least terrifying-looking spider I could find.

Things got strange when the man who answered the door said he lived alone.

“A man answered the door, out of breath and rather flushed,” the update said.

It then detailed the conversation:

Police: “Where’s your wife?”

Male: “Umm I don’t have one.”

Police: “Where’s your girlfriend?”

Male: “Umm I don’t have one.”

Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”

Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone.”

Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.”

Then the man realised what the mix up was, and according to police “became very sheepish”.

Police: “Come on mate, what have you done to her?”

Male: “It was a spider.”

Police “Sorry??”

Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!”

Police : “What about the women screaming?”

Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders.”

Don’t worry buddy, I get it.

An essential weapon in your fight against evil.

Police said the man had been chasing a “rather large” spider around his apartment with a can of insecticide.

“After a very long pause, some laughter, and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider), we left,” the post said.

There are two takeaways from this.

First of all, it’s really great that people called the police when they heard what they thought was a domestic violence incident. Attitudes to domestic violence in Australia are changing, and this is part of that.

Secondly, you can face your fears and win. As long as you have a big can of Mortein.

It was a victory for the ages, like the time my similarly terrified housemate and I just didn’t go into our house for two hours while we waited for someone to come over and get rid of the hand-sized Huntsman in our kitchen.

Maybe next time, brave warrior, you should phone a friend.