What’s wrong with looking svelte and gorgeous when you’re pregnant? Absolutely nothing, but give the mere mortals a break, please…
Look at this picture Gwen Stefani posted on Instagram today.
She is gorgeous. Looks stunning. The woman's 8 months pregnant with her third boy. And 44. And looks like this. Hats off to you, Gwen.
But God, this selfie irritates me.
Because. And seriously, this might surprise you, so take a deep breath. Most women don't look like this when they're pregnant.
Don't get me wrong, most pregnant women look gorgeous. But most of them don't look like 'I'm exactly the same shape as I was before, but I swallowed a basketball.'
And that, thanks to Gwen, Miranda, Gisele and all, is the pregnancy look we're all meant to be going for these days.
I know that they are celebrities, and therefore they are not 'like us'. Which is fine. I don't want my celebrities to be like me. But like bling and gravity-defying bums, the influence of the super-hot pregnant celebrity oozes into the real world.
Looking at pics of hot pregnant celebrities (and my job has often meant looking at lots of pictures of hot pregnant celebrities), many of the young women I know who are yet to become mothers will say, 'That's what I want to look like when I'm pregnant' . Or give the highest compliment of all. 'She doesn't even look pregnant, apart from the bump.'
Two things: 1. It's really okay to look pregnant when you're pregnant. It's a relatively short time in your life when something really, really amazing and strange and scary and wonderful is happening to your body. You are building bones, and skin, and internal organs. Teeny-tiny fingernails.
This is not business as usual.
The hot pregnants bely this fact. Witness the general abuse copped by Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson when their pregnant bodies dared to veer off the 'watermelon down my top' template. It was seen as a sign of weakness, almost a character flaw, that these women looked genuinely different.
Weight can creep on in strange places that don't seem in any way related to baby-baking, and, newflash, the shape and size of your body before has a lot of say in what shape you are when you're expecting. If you are short and booby, it's unlikely you are going to be able to pull off the sleek, tiny little lowdown bump of say, a statuesque Nicole Kidman.