Well, it would be, if there weren’t a ‘magic spell’ going around on Twitter instructing these female chocolatiers to ADD THEIR MENSTRUAL BLOOD TO THE RECIPE.
Oh, and spit and hair as well. Apparently, throwing your DNA into the mixing bowl increases the liklihood of your crush returning your epic Valentine’s love.
And this isn’t just a Twitter rumour – girls are actually doing this. Website Japan Crush translated a bunch of the tweets (and there are a LOT of them – the thread has been retweeted over 15, 000 times) into english:
“If I get my period on Valentine’s day, then I can put my secret ingredient in.”
“I mix in menstrual blood with my honmei choco every year.”
“If you want to put something of your own into honmei choco for Valentine’s day, I think that it’s actually best not to put hair, or pubic hair, or blood that you’ve got through the normal way, but rather to put those chunks of liver things that you get when you’re on your period!!! I mean, menstrual blood is the lining of your uterus, so doesn’t it excite you to think of him putting that in his mouth? What’s more, because it’s hard, he’ll never find out! Magnificent!”
“Were there ever any girls who didn’t put their own menstrual blood in the Valentine’s chocolate?”
And here are some responses from the petrified boys:
“Just felt a shiver go down my spine at the premonition of there being girls who hand chocoloate with nails or blood or spit in it to the boy they like on Valentine’s.”
“I saw a tweet that said, if you’re putting something in handmade chocolate, then I recommend blood. Because at least blood has some umami. And now the heart palpitations won’t stop.”
“If you mix blood into Valentine’s chocolate then your love will be reciprocated…so scary (-_-;) Still, back in the day, I got some cookies on Valentine’s day, and there were loads of tiny hairs in them…Wonder if that was the same thing…?”
So… Um… Discuss. Critically.
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