So, toys are hard to come by at Christmas. Who would have thought?
Before you have children – and before you have children who can talk – you are vaguely aware that every year, parents are out there going to extreme lengths to get their kids this year’s It Toy for Christmas.
But before you find yourself scouring ransacked toyshop shelves and juggling the relative merits of time spent driving vs delivery fees, you have no idea of how all-consuming this quest can become.
You have no idea that yes, the toy shop is FULL of toys. But those toys are pointless. Those toys are the ones that no-one wants.
This year, I have learned a valuable lesson.
My son wants a dinosaur for Christmas. My son also wants a dinosaur with him when he brushes his teeth, when he goes to bed, when he eats his breakfast, when he’s on the toilet. My son, like 98% of little boys under the age of 10, LOVES dinosaurs.
But for Christmas, he wants a very specific dinosaur. It’s Indominus Rex, from Jurassic World, and he wants the one that comes with the little plastic ball and the little man. This is so he can endlessly reenact the giant scary dinosaur smashing into the plastic ball and devouring the little man*.
Here it is:
He has been dreaming about this, talking about it and telling me about it ad nauseum, for months. And this is my 3-and-a-half year old, who barely talks about anything to anyone.
How does he know such a thing exists? Because on various visits to various shops over the year, to pick up last-minute birthday presents for friends and relatives and daycare classmates, he has seen this toy in a box. And he fell in love with it.
I have seen it, too. And I have told him, “Maybe Santa will bring you that, if you are good.” I have vaguely thought, “I’ll get that, next time I’m here.”
Guess what? That toy, that’s been blinking at me with its beady reptilian eye from every toyshop I’ve entered over the last three months, is no longer on shelves.
It’s not in any one of the six bricks-and-mortar toy shops that I have scoured in the past week. It’s THIS ITEM IS OUT OF STOCK or M.I.A on every toystore website I have been to.
The Indominus Rex has legged it. Sure, there’s another version. And it’s bigger, and it’s more expensive, but that’s not The Thing. The Thing is, my boy wants to make the dinosaur eat the little man out of the little ball. That is what he wants.
We can all go a little crazy like Arnie shopping for Christmas gifts. Post continues after video.