We’re talking packages, and no, not the kind that gets dropped off at your door by the courier guy. (Those are – arguably – far, far better.)
I’m talking about penises.
I’ve decided to bring to you an overall summary of lengths from all around the globe. Why? Not quite sure, really. Just felt like it. And you clicked, which means you care, soooo…
Let’s just say that the results will come as a rather big (or, you know, small) surprise.
Listen: Men don’t like scented candles. (Post continues…)
Men are notoriously known for overestimating what they’re packing down below, so it’s only fair we get a comprehensive list of what is actually going on down there.
Mandatory took it upon themselves to note some seriously impressive stats about penis size and they even came up with a comprehensive chart to display the lengths. How they got these measurements we do not want to know.
(A note: we’re talking erect here.)
The, um, ‘big’ takeaways
The average erect penis worldwide is 13.97cm in length, but if you’re a South African male? Congratulations, buddy, chances are you’re 16.15cm. Glorious.
Then there are men from the Congo, who on average reach 18cm…
Other bigguns include Jamaica, Brazil, Ghana, Peru, Lebanon, and Venezuela. Interesting.
The, well, ‘small’ takeaways
North and South Koreans finished dead last when it came to length, with an average of 9.6cm in length.
Other, um, smaller nations included: Iran, India and Japan.
So where does Australia... fit?
Of course you're all itching to know how we went on home soil. Your Aussie pride might be slightly dented as it appears we aren't doing overly well in terms of length. I mean, we're not doing bad, but we're no Congo, that's for sure.
I mean we're not going to go chanting Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi about it.
Our fellas measured at around 13.2cm which is pretty much the average around the whole globe. Not too big not too small, can't complain really.
Although we are doing slightly better than our American counterparts, who measured an average length of 12.9 centimetres.
Australia 1, America 0. Take that, suckers.
Now that's about all the penis length news you'll be getting from us for the next, oh I don't know, year? Hope it was worth it, folks.
Now it's up to you to determine whether size really matters at all.