beauty

7 things all pear-shaped women know to be true.

Image: iStock

Women come in many beautiful shapes and sizes that have long been compared to pieces of fruit, vegetables and objects. Apples, pears, hourglasses — the list goes on.

Just as its name suggests, a pear-shaped body type is typically narrow at the shoulders and wider from that point down. The slighter torso versus a larger bum/thigh/hip area makes for some pretty interesting experiences.

Here are seven situations the modern pear-shaped lady knows all too well.

1. You’re sick of hearing you have “child-bearing” hips.

Right now, some older woman or ignorant boy is probably telling a pear-shaped adolescent girl that her growing hips will ‘equip her well for childbirth’. I still remember my high school crush telling me I had “child-bearing hips” at a pool party when I was 13. The sixteenth century called, and it wants its shitty ‘compliment’ back.

Watch: Christine Anu discusses how she took a “vacation from herself” and her own body critiques. (Post continues after video.) 

2. Buying two-piece swimsuits that are not sold separately is simply not an option.

Buying a new swimming cosi for summer is never as simple as grabbing a size 10 top and bottom and being done with it. Pear-shaped women will be all too familiar with donning a top that is two, maybe even three sizes smaller than their bottoms.

If you need me, I’ll be in the change room with a size eight top and a size 14 bottom.

Size 8 top, size 14 bottom. Represent.

3. You become apathetic to walking into things.

Anyone with curvaceous bottom half is no stranger to bashing into the corners of tables and knocking things off them regularly. We can’t seem to understand the circumference of our own hips enough to stop us from bruising our sides on stationary furniture and, as such, it’s no surprise when others underestimate the width of our lower half too. (Post continues after gallery.) 

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4. People will continually compare you to Iggy Azalea or Nicki Minaj.

When someone tells you to copy the style of these pear-shaped pop icons, it makes your blood boil. “Oh really? Please, tell me more about how well a fluorescent sports bra and gold pleather leggings will go down in the office tomorrow.”

Others will try to convince you that Beyoncé is pear shaped, too. You will never accept this fact because she is clearly the "hourglass".

5. Boyfriend jeans and jumpsuits? Oh, if only.

Despite the rise of the tomboy look over the years, the boyfriend jean can be a tricky style for large-hipped ladies. And though we continue to try jumpsuits on in secret, the top part will always be too big and baggy while the fabric from the waist down will likely pull in all the wrong places... if you can even get the jumpsuit above your knees in the first place, that is. Instead, we will continue to admire the jumpsuit and boyfriend jean from afar. Like a crush on a fictional character, these garments are in our lives but from a distance, forever intangible and out of reach. (You know nothing, Jon Snow.)

6. You will spend most of your life wishing you could have lived in the 50s or 60s.

I have a dream that one day I will wake up on the set of Pleasantville and fashion will be kinder to my pear-shaped figure. We narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped girls can often be caught fantasising about having lived in the 1950 or 60s when fashion celebrated a more curvy body. In the meantime, we’re still waiting for the poodle skirt to make resurgence

7. Summer is a bittersweet time of the year.

While the pear-shaped woman waits in anticipation of summer to rock a gorgeous maxi-dress, maxi-skirt, maxi-anything, there is also the fear of whatever unforgiving trend this season will bring. Shorts can be a precarious endeavour.

Pear-shaped readers: do you have anything to add?