sex

Why men and woman should share the cost of contraception.

Should both people in a relationship take financial responsibility for contraception?

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We’ve been living together for 18 months.

For our entire relationship we’ve gone dutch (and that saying will never stop sounding like some weird sex position).

On dates we split the bills, when it comes to rent it’s 50/50 and the same goes for groceries, electricity and internet bills.

#independentwoman

Imagine if I had to pay for the entirety of these things we both enjoy. Unfair, right? Absolutely.

But here’s the thing: I am paying entirely for one item that we both enjoy the benefit of – not having babies.

I pay $20 every three months for the contraceptive pill. I have been for years and so have many, many other women.

This week in Mamamia Out Loud, we took to the streets to ask the men whether or not they think it’s fair. (Post continues after audio.)

Over the time my boyfriend and I been together I have spent roughly $400 on the contraceptive pill. Sure, it doesn’t seem like THAT much but for some women that is significant financial burden.

And the money isn’t really even the point. The consequences of our sex life should be shared regardless of who possesses the baby making bits. Financial responsibility – whether that means an abortion or raising a child or preventing getting pregnant in the first place –  should be something we share equally.

Of course when I brought up the subject with my boyfriend directly, he laughed. And then said ‘seriously?

Yeah seriously.

Now, he is a lovely and understanding guy, so when sure I pushed the topic further and actually (diplomatically) demanded he chip-in for the Pill, he said yes.

When wondering whether or not my predicament was a common one, I asked my female friends and the women I work with to which I got a surprising mix of responses.

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“Yeah I would never asked my partner to go halves in my pill. I decided to go on a generic brand so it’s cheap anyway. I decided to go on it and I can decide if I want to go off it!”

“No, my boyfriend doesn’t pay for half of my pill and we’ve never discussed it before now. We realised it wasn’t something either of us ever thought about. I was on it before I met him and I feel like it’s my own decision, I take it for myself. He doesn’t have a problem if I want him to pay half but if I wasn’t on the pill he would pay for condoms and that would be his responsibility.”

“Yep. My partner actually volunteered to split the cost without me bringing it up. But I said no as my pill was a cheapo one.”

“I never thought about it to be truthful. But I think I would have said no. That part is my responsibility. Like their part was buying the condoms. I also worry that if I asked them/they offered to pay half then they could have a say which one I would be on, which would not be okay with me.”

“I just figure it all comes out in the wash! That you both end up spending money in some way.”

“One of my friend’s ex’s paid for her pill. Which is awesome.”

“Thought never even crossed my mind – but now that it has maybe I’ll ask and see what he says.”

Honestly, I think it makes sense.

You might be taking the one taking the medication but it’s BOTH of you who are benefiting. Not having a baby is a serious business and the responsibility shouldn’t just fall to one partner.

Listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud below, where Mia, Mons and Kate de Brito talk about everything from if you can leave a sleeping baby at home alone, to whether or not the honeymoon has ended for Malcolm Turnbull, and does politics in general need to grow some balls?  

For more episodes, subscribe to the show in iTunes, download it via The Mamamia Podcast App, or find Mamamia Out Loud in your podcast app of choice. 

But prove me wrong, is this a non-issue? Do you think both people in a relationship should share financial responsibility for contraception?

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