One of my personal anxieties has always been naming my future child.
As someone who can spend hours trapped in the supermarket trying to decide between brands of bodywash or types of milk; the prospect of landing on a name that my child will have forever is terrifying.
Not only do you need to choose something that won’t make them hate you, but you want to try and aim for something unique. But classy. But standout. But not too loud. But not too weird. But not too common.
(I guess these are the hang-ups you have when you share a name with millions of other Irish people.)
Luckily, a Swiss agency is solving your baby-naming woes with their $31,000 service: crafting a fully unique name for your child.
When I first visited the Erfolgswelle website, I was a little baffled. It wasn’t quite the cutsey pink-and-fluffy name machine I had expected with fun gaming noises and whirring pictures of cherries. It looked like a website for an accountant.
The baby names set to take over the world in 2016 (post continues after video):
After translating the page from um, Swiss (??), things started to make sense. This was a digital agency, offering branding, copywriting, and market research services. Oh, lol, they also name babies.
As of January 2015, Erfolgswelle decided to branch out from the normal branding stuff they did, and have a stab at the baby naming game.
After following the links from Home > Naming Agency > Naming Children I found myself on a plain, corporate looking page that said the following:
“As international name agency , we dare to take this step: The creation of new names for children.
Would you like to see for your unborn child a name that still carries no other? A wonderful name that sounds so beautiful that you just had to invent him? One brand new name with exciting derivation and distinctive history?
We create it for you – and for your child.”
Anyway, for $31,000 – bargain – you can secure a name for your child that will consider things like the sound, the appearance, the meaning, the harmony with the surname, and the cultural background.
- Checking of the first name in the 12 most frequently-spoken names in the world (5.4 billion people speak one of these languages)
- Derivation of the name from etymological and phonetic points of view.
- We develop a credible new history and mythology around the new name.
- You receive a scientific certificate from the naming centre of the University of Leipzig
Here, take a look at their website, and tell us what you think.
And in the meantime, what do you think of ‘Erfolgswelle’ for a girl?