Today Pauline Hanson wore a burqa into the Senate to insult Muslim people everywhere and draw attention to her bill that would ban women from wearing burqas in Parliament House. This is despite nobody in parliament being able to ever recall an instance where a woman wearing a burqa has appeared in Parliament House.
Her point (supposedly) is that women wearing burqas are dangerous and scary and a threat to us all. Pauline? We beg to disagree. In approximately two minutes, we crowd sourced the Mamamia Office and came up with this list of things far scarier than a woman wearing a burqa. We could have made a list four times as long but here are our top 142 things:
1. Donald Trump being President.
2. Pulling out your tampon and two coming out.
3. Steve Banon.
4. Play School.
5. Wondering whether you’ll have to stand all the way to work on the train when you’re eight months pregnant.
6. White Supremacists.
7. Stepping off the curb in a dream and falling indefinitely.
8. The person at the desk next to you having the flu.
9. When you get a notification that your mum shared something with you on Facebook.
10. When you check Insta and no one liked your pic.
11. This month’s electricity bill.
12. Realising you’ve butt-dialed someone and wondering what they heard.
13. Going to the supermarket with a toddler.
14. Travelling overseas with a toddler.
15. Travelling anywhere with a toddler.
16. Nuclear War.
17. Jared Kushner.
18. People who believe vaccines aren’t necessary.
19. Running out of toilet paper while sitting on the toilet.
20. Getting a Brazilian.
21. Going to the toilet for the first time after giving birth.
22. A broken condom.
23. The Sydney housing market.
24. A single moth.
25. A dog yawning.
26. Getting your period while wearing white jeans.
27. When someone creeps up behind you and says “Hi”.
28. When you remember at 1pm that you didn’t put deodorant on this morning.
29. A possum on the roof.
30. George Pell.
31. Doing a pregnancy test when you don’t want to be pregnant.
32. Doing a pregnancy test when you do want to be pregnant.
33. The thought that Foxtel might crash again during Game Of Thrones.
34. Goosebumps. As in the books.
35. When you show someone a picture in your phone, and they start scrolling, and you don’t know what they’re going to find.
36. Going to the toilet on an aeroplane when there is turbulence.
37. Donald Trump being President
38. Climate change.
39. When someone asks if you’ll help them move house
40. A bride who isn’t happy.
41. The Real Housewives of Sydney.
42. Realising your partner claps at the end of movies.
43. When your card is declined.
44. The realisation that you will never sleep with Rob Lowe.
45. When the doctor asks when your last pap smear was.
46. The office fridge.
47. Looking at your bank statement.
48. The words, ‘We need to talk..’
49. The words: ‘Off-site strategy away day’
50. Donald Trump being President
51. The words: ‘What are you thinking about?’
52. Thinking about the last time you washed your sheets.
53. Going for a wax after a long winter.
54. The likeliness of farting in a Yoga class.
55. Accidentally sexting your boss.
56. Using the phone to actually…call people.
57. No more wine in the fridge.
58. Lying in bed wondering if you locked the front door.
59. Going on Twitter.
60. A first date.
61. A Sass and Bide warehouse sale.
62. Any kind of warehouse sale.
63. Donald Trump being President.
64. A three year old who skips nap time.
65. Pauline Hanson not wearing a Burqa.
66. A stranger standing too close to you on public transport.
67. When Woolworths run out of Maxibons.
68. Bathing a baby and having them slip from your hands.
69. Getting caught in a rip.
70. Trying on your pre-pregnancy clothes for the first time after giving birth.
71. Seeing the ex-love of your life with their new partner.
72. A sleep-walking adult.
73. A trip to IKEA with your significant other.
74. 15- year-old boys
75. 15-year-old girls.
76. A small, very delightful puppy.
77. Watching everyday sexism on The Bachelor.
78. Walking through a bathroom puddle with socks on.
79. The Kettering Incident.
80. Donald Trump being President.
81. Walking to your car when the rest of the undercover carpark is empty.
82. Leaving your husband in charge of dressing the kids for a special event.
83. The first time your child sleeps through the night.
84. Men working out in front of you at the gym wearing tiny running shorts.
85. Your phone dying while I’m out.
86. Pulling out the kitchen sink plug after washing up.
87. Cleaning out the shower drain in an all-girls share house (The Ring, The Ring!)
88. Trying to remember when your last period was.
89. 70 per cent off at Gorman and the shop is already packed.
90. An Uber surcharge at 2am.
91. That BBQ chicken in the fridge you bought four days ago.
92. Going to a bakery and your friend saying “I’m gluten free”.
93. An episode of Masterchef where not a single contestant makes ice cream.
94. When your mum says “can I be honest with you?”.
95. When you ask if your arse looks fat in those pants and your partner pauses for a long time.
96. Donald Trump being President
97. The spinning wheel of death on your crashing computer.
98. Being in the front row at yoga after a hefty, fibrous breakfast.
99. When you’re about to have sex and you realise you have ugly underpants on with a hole in them.
100. Killer bees.
101. When your phone battery is on 4 per cent.
102. Running late for a flight.
103. Being tasked with organising a Hen’s party.
104. The thought of Matty choosing anyone but Laura on The Bachelor.
105. The moment your realise your armpits might be sweating through your t-shirt.
106. Biting your nail and accidentally having too much nail come off.
107. When someone at the table next to you throws food and the seagulls start to swarm around you
108. Hearing a knock at the door when you’re not expecting someone.
109. Uber eats saying they don’t deliver to your area.
110. All insects.
111. Getting Married.
112. In-laws come to stay with you.
113. Donald Trump being President.
114. Having to mail through your postal vote as a millennial.
115. Catching public transport in peak hour.
116. Taking home your online shopping when you’ve told your partner you wouldn’t buy anything.
117. Grocery shopping on an empty stomach.
118. Embarking on completing any form from Centrelink.
119. Chewing chips in a quiet place and wondering if everyone can hear your chews.
120. Letting the apprentice hairdresser touch your hair.
121. Thinking that you don’t have a hair tie in your bag on a bad hair day.
122. When you’re running late for daycare pickup and risk incurring the $10 per minute penalty.
123. When you close your front door and remembered you left the keys inside.
124. Transport officers checking your ticket on the train/bus/tram/ferry, even though you paid the right fare.
125. Your credit card bill.
126. When you need milk but it expired the day before but you risk it anyway.
127. Sticking your hand in the toaster to grab out toast.
128. Cliff hangers on your favourite TV shows.
129. Knowing that a GoT character will die, but you have no clue who.
130. The head lice letter coming home in the schoolbag.
131. Donald Trump being President.
132. Walking through the park when the magpies start to fly above you.
133. Realising you wore white undies to event with blue lights.
134. Being breath-tested even though you’re sober.
135. A ten-person line at the coffee shop.
136. The day before pay day.
137. Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time.
138. Attending events with no +1.
139. A world without Netflix.
140. A world without internet.
141. The word ‘moist’.
142. Pauline Hanson.