Being eaten by an anaconda isn’t fun. Who knew?

 

 

Naturalist and wildlife insane person enthusiast Paul Rosolie wanted to know what it would feel like to be eaten by an anaconda.

Yes, we completely understand. We’ve thought about this too, Paul.

And our answer was BLOODY NO THANKS.

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We really did think about this…

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Rosolie, a Bear Grylls-wannabe apparently donned a ‘crush proof suit’ and enticed an anaconda to eat him (yes, that sentence). The result was aired on the Discovery Channel yesterday. And let’s just say it was a lot less than promised.

In short, what happened was this: the 27-year-old said the six metre snake (let that sink in) beat the “sh*t out of him” during the stunt. He says he hasn’t yet fully recovered.

Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 1.01.50 pmThe ‘crush-proof’ suit.

To attract the snake he covered the crush-proof suit with pigs blood. Then, he “got down on all fours to make contact with it and simply let it bite me.”

But that’s not all.

“She nailed me right in the face, and the last thing I remember was her mouth open wide, straight in my face, and everything went black. I went limp and let it constrict. All the while I was just thinking: ‘Eat, eat, eat!’

She wrapped around me and I felt my suit cracking and my arms ripping out of their sockets. It was absolutely terrifying.”

No thanks, mate.

Not surprisingly there has been a wave of outrage around the globe at the discovery that eaten alive did not actually end in a man being #eatenalive.

Take a look at some of our favourites…

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And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for – exclusive pictures of a man almost, sort-of, not really being half-eaten alive but an anaconda.

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For anyone looking to try this at home, here is how to make a “crush-proof” suit. (Note: may not actually be crush-proof).

 

For everyone else, avoid those pesky anacondas today. Think of your arm sockets.

 

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