I am a planner. I like to know what’s happening in advance and I like to prepare for it. So if I am aware of a function or important date my internal diary freak switches up a notch. I start to think about my hair – do I need to get it cut or coloured? Should I book a fake tan? What should I wear? Will it be cold or rainy? which will look daggier – my umbrella or drenched hair?
But there is one event that takes greater planning than most others and it doesn’t involve a single hair appointment, actually cancel that, it doesn’t involve a hairdressing appointment.
My visit to the gynae is meticulously planned.
1. I always take a spare pair of undies. Fresh, pretty undies that I keep in my bag to change into just before I set off to my appointment. For the life of me I cannot figure out why I do this because the first thing the doctor does is ask me to go into a room (where he can’t see me) and take OFF my undies and put on a gown. I always then fold my knickers into the tiniest possible swatch of material and hide them under my clothes. So he never sees them. But still they have to be pretty. And fresh.
2. I also make sure that I have clean shaven legs. I can guarantee you that he does not look at my legs so why I don’t make sure that they are clean shaven when I go to the beach I am not quite sure.
3. For some reason I like to have my toe nails painted. Don’t even ask
4. And then there is my er, area of interest as it were. A recent news poll survey revealed that 97% of women undertake some sort of personal grooming, whether it is a bikini line wax, trim or Brazilian, before they have a pap smear.
So I am not alone.
I can’t imagine many more jobs that I would dislike more than being a gynaecologist. At least an obstetrician gets to deliver babies but a gynae? He just, well he just looks at women’s vaginas all day.
Is this why women “prep” before getting their pap? To provide a better view? Or are they self conscious? Do they believe that the doctor could be judging their hairstyling, their maintenance, the way their vagina looks?
I am sure my doctor has seen quite some different sights. Some hairy, some not, some innies, some outies, some young and some very old – not the most “scenic” job in my opinion. But at least 97% of the women he sees are groomed. And I am sure he doesn’t even notice.
How do you prepare for a visit to the gynaecologist? Do you groom? Take fresh clothes?