“In summer, when tan people complain that they need to buy new foundation because their normal shade is too light; I will never know that feeling.”
Welcome to the world of pale girl problems.
For the pale-skinned among us, you’re not alone. Many of the Mamamia team also suffer from this same affliction, so we’ve come up with a definitive list of things only pale girls will understand. Add your own in the comments below!
1. Your foundation is called ‘Snow Ivory’ or something similarly embarrassing and you can only buy it in Northern Europe.
2. Always being asked, ‘Are you feeling ok? You look unwell. Go home, you’re sick’. No, I’m just pale. I always look like this.
3. Being unable to go outside without sunscreen. Ever. Not even for one minute.
4. Subsequent acne from being forever coated in sunscreen.
5. Everyone always wants to compare their skin colour against yours.
6. Never being able to find the right shade of pale pink nail polish to suit your skin. Stop looking, it doesn’t exist.
7. You, from an objective, scientific standpoint, look fatter and less fit, because muscle tone is more pronounced on tanned people. Bastards.
8. You were ghosting in photos long before it became a meme.
9. In summer, when tan people complain that they need to buy new foundation because their normal shade is too light. I will never know that feeling.
10. Knowing that your fake tan application isn’t fooling anyone.
11. People judging you because you’re sunburned and asking if you put sunscreen on (YES, YES YOU HAVE. AT A RATE AND VOLUME THAT EXCEEDS THAT OF ANYONE ELSE AT THIS BEACH PARTY THANKYOUVERYMUCH).
12. The colour yellow.
13. All of your body hair is 20x more visible. Particularly that on your arms, stomach and upper lip – fabulous for the dark-haired.
14. You’re considering having a Halloween-themed wedding, because you know that you’re going to look like you’ve come as a ghost.
15. Visible blue veins.
16. When you exercise, your face isn’t just a nice flushed red, it is a blotchy, rash-like, ‘do I need to call an ambulance?’ kind of red.
17. People automatically assume that you love the cold.
18. Not being able to physically tan. You burn, go bright red then straight back to white.
19. Bronzer is never going to look natural, mainly due the fact that it is approximately 10 shades darker than your natural skin tone.
20. “I’m so jealous of your pasty, white skin!” said no one ever.
21. When your makeup brand decides not to continue their porcelain ivory range, obviously thinking no one can be that pale. I have news for you Maybelline, they can be.