Men’s Fitness magazine has been slammed after publishing a guide on how men can turn a “no” into a “yes” when trying to pick up women.
The article was written under the guise of providing dating tips for men by self-styled ‘dating and attraction expert’ Nick Savoy, who apparently sees nothing wrong with telling men that receiving a “no” can still be a green light.
Savoy isolates four broad locations where a “no” can become a “yes”: the bar, the bedroom, on a date and in a relationship. Basically, everywhere you could find yourself when spending time with a man you’re dating.
Savoy writes that if a woman isn’t “into you”, you can try a few different approaches such as:
- “Plow ahead anyway.”
- “Deal with it the same way you would any other test – heighten it to absurdity and make a joke of it.”
He says that one of his clients who approached a “Victoria Secret’s Model” remained persistent after she kept “brushing him off” until she finally relented and was “picked up”.
Shockingly, the piece is written not as satire, but with the genuine belief that manipulating a woman into disregarding her own feelings, desires and needs so that she has sex with you is some kind of achievement to be proud of.
The manipulation plays directly on emotions, with Savoy suggesting a bad date can be turned around by raising energy levels right before suddenly bailing.
"Get to an emotional high point, where she is laughing and feeling good, and then abruptly end the date... She'll be wondering what she did wrong," Savoy said.
We can't help but feel like, if you're on a date and the guy "suddenly bails" on a high point, what you did wrong was agreeing to a date with that guy.
Modern dating is enough of a minefield without guys like this. Post continues after video.
Savoy even goes as far as suggesting women are only really held back from sex when there are consequences.
"A woman can be in a situation where she wants to have sex with you, but she doesn't want there to be consequences," he writes.
Consequences like rape? Consequences like sexual harassment?
The article continues to gain attention online as its contents remain preserved on google cache, despite Men's Fitness best attempt at removing it.
The article has rightly copped a swathe of criticism for its themes.
Writer Aura Bogado called out the piece as promoting rape culture for the ways it attempts to assist men in manipulating women.
Savoy responded to Mic's request for comment to defend his position.
"The article says that no always means no, but that if you can change the circumstances so that she no longer wants to say no, then it's okay to accept a yes," he said.
Really? If 'no' always means 'no', why does the headline explicitly say: How to turn a 'no' into a 'yes'?
"To pretend otherwise is to create a straw man and trivializes real issues around sexual assault and consent...If trying to make someone feel more comfortable so that they want to have sex with you is harassment, then my girlfriend harassed me last Saturday when I wasn't in the mood, and then I was. It makes the term meaningless."
Savoy holds conferences in America under the business he founded called Love Systems.
The website holds several articles men can read such as: what to do when she says she has a boyfriend.
Spoiler: Savoy's advice is for the man to continue the conversation as though the word 'boyfriend' was never in it.