You’ll need a yoga mat, some pillows, a towel and some lube.
You’ll need someone who is willing to get their hands
You won’t need too much time. It only takes about 15 minutes.
And unlike in regular meditation, you are unlikely to fall asleep in the middle of it.
That’s because it is orgasmic meditation and the object in focus is – drumroll, please – your clitoris.
Orgasmic Meditation (OM for short) is based on the idea that women are generally deprived of orgasm in their lives – and by practicing OM, they will be restored to their natural human state – “the state of connection”. Connection to what exactly, we are not quite sure. Life? Their partner? Their clitoris?
Importantly, OM is not to be confused with masturbation. This is because OM has to be something that someone else does for you. They are called a “Stroker”, and they can either be your partner or a stranger. (Imagine looking at someone’s resume and seeing the word “Stroker”. Wow.)
Okay, enough giggling and funny-face-pulling, because it’s time to get down to the facts.
The Stroker sits up while you lay spreadeagled, sans-pants, across their lap. (The Stroker keeps their pants on. Hands only, thanks.) The room needs to be well-lit so they can actually find your clitoris.
They start by describing what they see – the colour, the shape, the texture. Then you start to meditate, and they stroke away. For 15 entire minutes.
You probably have questions. We did too.
Isn’t this just foreplay? Why are we calling foreplay something different?
This is not foreplay. Foreplay is named because it generally leads to something more, and the idea of OM is that nothing happens with the stroker once the 15 minutes are up – the woman simply experiences clitoral pleasure and therefore finds a new meaning of life. Hopefully.