There is no other show on television that could possibly feature this scene:
Two women kneel in a prison yard. One of them, a butch lesbian called Boo, is wearing a scary clown outfit that is in no way suitable for the eyes of children.
The other is a meth-head murderer, Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett, and she is looking at five tiny crosses planted in the ground. They represent the abortions she had before she found Christianity in jail.
Pennsatucky is in jail because she shot the nurse who made a smart comment to her about how often they saw her down at the abortion clinic.
The fact that these are not characters you usually see in a prime-time drama is not even the point.
The point is the conversation they are having.
Firstly, Boo is taking the piss out of Pennsatucky, because her dead fetuses all have names that start with the letter ‘B’: Blake, Bonnie, Braeden, Boyd and Buddy Jnr. Hilarious.
And then Boo, in half-seriousness takes her meth-head buddy through the reasons why she should not feel bad about her terminations.
She cites the book Freakanomics, by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt. She discusses the impact of Roe Vs Wade, the landmark US abortion ruling, on crime statistics. She gently, sarcastically convinces Pennsatucky that it was a far, far better thing to have done to spare these children a crappy childhood and a life of crime and neglect.
“Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. I mean, what does a good mother do? A good mother does what’s best for her children. And maybe what was best for your children was wiping ’em out before they had to live miserable fucking lives.”
And then the two of them go back to jail.
This never happened on Packed To The Rafters.
Read some real women’s experiences of abortion here: “I know my abortion was the right choice.”
Watch the scene, here (Post continues after video):
Let’s be honest here. The view from your lounge has never looked brighter.
There have never been fewer reasons to leave the house.
And there is the glorious realisation: you never, ever, have to watch dumb TV ever again.
That’s why Australians love Netflix, Stan, Fetch and all their little friends. That, and the fact that they no longer need to be held hostage by infuriating TV networks who cancel, move and split their favourite shows, who have no regard for when and how you want to bond with your “stories” – and the fact that you want to watch the shows that everyone is talking about, right now, not next year.
But really, there is only one reason to worship at the feet of Netflix this week: Orange Is The New Black.
Maybe you already love it.
Maybe you’re resisting. If you are. Forget it.
What is your favourite show to binge-watch at the moment?
Some other completely excellent moments from Orange Is The New Black:
You can read the whole conversation from the best scene in the best show (not) on television here:
Boo: It’s like a whole little graveyard here.
Pennsatucky: Yeah these are all my unborn babies.
B: Mmm she got the Mothers Day blues.
P: Jesus you look like the angel of death.
B: I get that a lot.
P: Yeah I’m going to hell I know it, even though I was saved and everything they never even had a chance, you know?
B: Son you’ve got to let go of that shit.
P: Easy for you to say, I’m guessing you’ve never had to abort nobody.
B: A Bold assumption. You ever read a book called Freakonomics?
P: No, what’s it about? Bearded ladies and midgets?
B: Close its about economic theory, cause and effect.
P: Sounds boring.
B: It’s actually a pretty good read. They have this chapter in it: ‘Where have all the criminals gone?‘.
P: They’re over there in that field…
B: In the 1990s crime fell spectacularly and this books attributes that to passing of Roe V. Wade.
P: The darkness of ’73, the exact opposite actually.
B: The abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade, these were children that weren’t wanted. Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, would have grown up poor, and neglected and abused. The three most important ingredients when one is making a felon. But they were never born. So, 20 years later, when they would have been a prime crime age, they weren’t there.
And the crime rate dropped dramatically.
P: What’s your point?
B: My point is that you were a meth-head white trash piece of shit and your children, had they been born, would have been meth-head white trash pieces of shit. So by terminating those pregnancies you spared society the scourge of your offspring. When you think about it it’s a blessing.
P: I’ve never thought about it that way.
B: Maybe you should, maybe you should stop punishing yourself. I mean, what does a good mother do? A good mother does what’s best for her children. And maybe what was best for your children was wiping ’em out before they had to live miserable fucking lives.
P: Yeah, maybe – makes me feel a little better actually.
B: Then I’ve done my job, clown cheers crowd.
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