Dear Public Breastfeeding POOPIES (People Opposed to the Occasional Presence of Infants Eating in Society),
It must be hard to be a Poopy. So many women. So many breasts.
One can only imagine the terrible anxiety you must feel every time you see a woman walking around with a baby.
Oh, the rising angst of knowing that, at any point, she could whip out one of those ghastly breasts for her guzzling urchin.
Yes, your plight is not an easy one, Poopy. It’s not easy at all.
And to make matters worse, some of these selfish women don’t even carry modesty blankets with them nowadays. How else do they expect you to cover your face?
Watch: 10 ways breast milk can surprise your family and friends! Courtesy of Those Two Girls. Post continues after video.
If only these mothers realised the lengths you already go to, to rearrange your schedule – how you have become a prisoner in your own home sometimes for days, weeks or even months on end – how you avoid public places such as cafes and restaurants for fear of that unavoidable breastfeeding moment.
And to make matters worse, the public doesn’t seem to have any understanding of just how tough you are doing it.
You are, after all, a minority group.
You see, in Australia, the overwhelming majority of people have absolutely no problem with public breastfeeding.
In fact, 74 per cent of people think it’s A-OK for women to breastfeed in a restaurant or café.
And more than 80 per cent think its fine for women to publicly breastfeed in a shopping centre.
80 per cent! It’s shocking isn’t it?
But don’t despair, Poopy. It’s not all bad news.