I recently rejoined Hinge, and in the midst of my own self-loathing, I forgot to update my age preference. As a result, I had an influx of messages from guys ranging from 18 to 54 years old.
Me, I’m 32. I don’t look older than 32 and I don’t look much younger either. I kinda look the exact same as I did at 29. I didn’t turn 30 and suddenly lose all the elasticin and collagen in my face.
I put my phone away and returned a few minutes later (hey, I’m addicted) to 69 notifications (hey, my lucky number!).
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What the hell? 30-something guys just aren’t that keen; they’re in high demand and they know it.
They can (and do) send messages like “HRU” (an acronym for ‘How Are You’) and “Doing?” (short for ‘How Are You Doing’).
I read the first comment: “I hope age is just a number.” I looked at his profile. I would definitely date a 57-year-old Brad Pitt, but this guy looked like he could be Brad Pitt’s (adoptive) father. But good on him for trying! But also, no.
I kept swiping and then stopped.
“Nothing about you is 32 👀🥵”
I was suddenly more like 🤬 than 🥵. My first thought was, “How dare this pipsqueak of a man child insinuate that I’m too hot to be over 30.”