‘My one night stand is still costing me.’
That was the headline of a recent story for News Corp, about a man named Patrick, who met a woman on Facebook in 2010, slept with her, and found out 12 weeks later she was pregnant. “There’s something seriously wrong with this outdated system,” he said, referring to the child support he was ordered to pay for a son he’s never met. “I’ve given up.”
The story was told with the aim of showing that Australian law, which requires a biological father pay child support until a child is 18, is flawed.
“I felt like she’d planned it,” Patrick said, referring to the moment his one night stand told him she was pregnant.
Patrick thinks current child support schemes don’t make sense in “modern society where many relationships don’t last”. He doesn’t believe he should be paying for this child. He says a huge number of second relationships fail because of the pressure of child support issues.
Now, consider Jenny.
Jenny is an anecdote – I haven’t sighted legal documents that support Jenny’s story, and Jenny isn’t here to tell her story in her own words.
But we all know a Jenny.
Listen: This single mum teaches women to get smart about money. Post continues after audio.
Jenny was married in her late twenties and had four children. When her youngest was two, her partner left. Let’s call him Bob. Bob entered a relationship with another woman.
Top Comments
This story made me so angry when I read it. Patrick told her when he found out "I know you'll do the right thing"- which was dictating to her that she abort that child. She informed him she wasn't going to do that and he was well aware the child existed. She went many years without asking him for anything and he could have (but didn't!) reach out to her to get to know the kid. His choices are appalling. He could have used a Condom, he didn't take responsibility then and he even questioned the paternity of the child as if she was a "slut" for sleeping around (which she said she hadn't and it was proven he is that child's father). It comes down to this- he had choices too and didn't take them. It takes 2 to create a child, you know it's a possibility when you have unprotected sex. Man up and take responsibility
These situations are completely different but as usual the mother is treated as the victim and the emphasis is on money rather than the wellbeing of both the children and parents. I have experienced both these scenarios. So I understand both sides. However, my husbands ex lied and told him she was on the pill and became pregnant purposely when she knew he did not want children. Even though she went ahead with the pregnancy and he left her- he chose to be fully active in the child's life and pays child support, however, she and the court system won't allow him to have equal time with the child. He has shared parental responsibility, pays the money but only gets his son 34% of the year. Because more time with my husband would result in less child support for her, she blocks and fights any attempt that my husband makes to spend more time with HIS child. The child support system encourages mothers to not give the fathers equal access!