Offspring has been off the air for TWO WHOLE, ENORMOUS, VERY LONG weeks.
And so, we are ravenous for information about Nina and co.
Luckily for us, this episode opens with a sequence that usually only takes place in my private fantasy land.
Patrick is back. He’s alive and well and sitting with Nina on the couch while the sunlight streams through the windows around them. They are watching Zoe play happily next to them on the floor and giving each other those knowing looks we’ve come to know so well.
And they’re talking about sperm.
Which, ah, I can safely say has never happened in my PG-rated day dreams. But there you go.
This sequence is happening inside Nina’s head, as she wrestles with the bomb that was dropped on her during the last episode. Patrick’s ex-wife revealed that her one true love had left some frozen sperm behind, and it’s Nina’s to use if she wishes.
Talk about having trouble trying to move on.
Nina is using this dream world to try and work out what to do, and asks imaginary Patrick how she is supposed to tell the next man she dates that “I’ve kept the sperm of the dead love of my life.”
Yeah, that would be a hard line to work into an alluring Tinder profile.
Back at the hospital, Nina bumps into Harry who, after their many run-ins and somewhat lacklustre sexual chemistry from the past few months (I know it’s supposed to be there, but I just wasn’t feeling it) asks her out. On a date. On Saturday night.
Which, to be honest, seems so sweet and lovely and chivalrous in an age of digital meet-and-greet and mid-week hookups. Maybe these kids have a bit of chemistry between them, after all.
Just when I was starting to once again feel those Offspring warm and fuzzy moments, I’m smashed back to sad reality by Brody’s pregnancy news.
Nina performs an ultrasound, with a strong and supportive Billie by her side, and breaks the news to poor, overwhelmed Brody that she’s much further along in her pregnancy than anyone first thought.
In fact, Nina has to inform her she’s too far along to terminate the pregnancy, if that’s what she wants.
Brody is understandably shocked, and fear radiates off her poor face as she struggles to comprehend the news.
Billie, of course, follows her out of the room and is once again an incredible source of comfort and support, telling her “we will figure it out, it’s going to be OK”.
So, am I the only one who thinks the writers are setting it up perfectly for Billie to adopt Brody’s baby?
It all seems much too ‘after school special’ to wrap this complicated story up into such a nice little bow. But, hey, I want these characters to have a happy ending so much I’m willing to overlook the upcoming cliché.