"The Offspring world is broken, and I don't think it can be put back together."

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Missed out? Here’s what happened last week.

Before we kick things off, I’m going to need you to grab your Offspring Episode Nine Starter Pack.

You will need:



Possibly a therapist.

And, more cake.

Because this episode was a doozy. There were a lot of tears, a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of broken relationships.

From the opening scene, it’s hard to image the carnage that is going to come later. Nina, Billie and Harry are all tucked up in bed together, stroking Nina’s very pregnant stomach. It’s over-the-top intimate but strangely, I’m very into it.

But judging by that pregnant belly, either we’re into another time-jump or inside Nina’s dreamscape once again. It turns out to be the latter, which I should have realised. All of Nina’s best dreams feature her engaging in sexcapdes with Clegg.

Back in the real world, Nina is wandering the hospital corridors and wondering if she should implant a fertilised embryo into her womb and give birth to Patrick’s offspring from beyond the grave.

That important thought, however, is pushed out of her head as she bumps into Angus, who is completely real and definately not a dream

ANGUS!!! Oh my God, I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for him to come back.

Joking, I actually forgot he existed. Don’t lie, so did you.

Jimmy and Will are now best brotherly friends and like to spend their time hanging out in parks and exercising.

I guess mutual wedding nudity will either make you or break you, and it seems to have made these two into an unstoppable duo.

Thanks to these newfound bonds of brotherhood, we finally we see inside Will’s house/lair. And while it’s not quite the serial killer dungeon I thought it would be, it’s pretty darn close.


Motivational sayings and pictures galore. If his mum hadn’t made a cameo in this week's episode I’d be convinced her body was beneath the floorboards.

As usual, everyone’s issues/gripes/dramas come to a head at a family gathering. Let me ask you this: why are these people still meeting up for meals? Do they really need lunch that badly?

It always ends in tears.

This week, the tears come from Brody, who is finally forced to tell her crazy mother that she is pregnant.

And Billie says goodbye to Brody as she is carted off by her crazy mother. Tears for the girl, and the baby that she had based her life around and vowed to take care of.

Tears from Nina. Oh Nina. My heart broke from her when she received a call to say every single one of the fertilised embryos had failed. No baby, no sibling for little Zoe, and no last part of Patrick to hold onto.

A lot of suffering was going down, but this time no one cried harder and more openly than poor Zara.

After breaking down completely at the family lunch, screaming that she’d failed university, failed her medical course, her kids didn’t want her and she’d ruined everything, Jimmy takes her home.

While sitting and sobbing in the bath, Zara tells him the very worst thing of all.

“I want to move out. I slept with someone else. Angus.”

Freaking Angus. I knew his return would mean bad, terrible, horrible things.

From the looks of things, Zara and Jimmy are completely broken. And I just don’t know if they can be put back together.

When your favourite TV shows give you all of the feels, you need someone who gets it. Enter The Binge, the podcast that is a safe space for TV addicts. Listen to the latest episode here: