I’m 25 and I just got married.
No, I’m not pregnant and I’m not counting on it anytime soon.
No, I’m not settled on spending the rest of my life playing Betty Crocker.
No, I’m not some insecure person that needs a ring to feel like my relationship is solid.
I met someone young. I fell in love. Eight years later he asked those four little words and I cried yes.
Before the wedding I had a lot of people look at me with shock and horror when they heard I’m engaged. Their faces look kind of like this…
Then they say a little something like this…
“Oh my god you’re so young”
Yep Einstein, you got me.
Is there really a perfect age or time to get married? I’ve been through a heck load of stuff with this guy and he knows me really well — to the point that he knows when my monthly cycle is coming better than I do and avoids popping my hormonal bubble and will be more than happy to buy my lady needs. Okay not that cute — but you get the gist here.
We’ve been through a lot. On again-off again. Travelled the world. Got silly matching tattoos that you wake up the next day and realise it wasn’t a dream, only to laugh years later and go “what the hell were we thinking”. Yep we’ve been there.
Listen: The Mamamia Out Loud team share all their greatest wedding regrets. Some are moving, some are… bizarre. Post continues after audio.
I’ve also spent my days crying on the bathroom floor to Adele over this guy — literally. He’s annoyed the shit out of me multiple times as well.
But this is exactly why I’m marrying him. We’re crazy for each other. The highs certainly outweigh the lows and we’re in it together. Not to mention we’re ready to defy the odds of the rising divorce rate in the hope that we will have a lasting marriage filled with lots of great moments, some not so great moments and everything in between.
With that being said, I believe there is no right or wrong age to get married. I have respect for people who say being young and single is the best thing ever. However, I also respect myself and that getting married at my age isn’t taking anything away from my freedom to enjoy and express myself. I may be young but I’m certainly not being immature about it.
“But have you lived your life and done everything you wanted to do?”
My apologies, I forgot the bit where life stops at marriage and I live in a cupboard under the stairs.
We don’t spend dinner dates scrolling on our phones because we’ve run out of stuff to say. Our conversations don’t mundanely stop at —
“How was your day?”
“Oh good thanks.”
He still goes out with his friends and has big nights out. I still go out with my girls and shake my booty on the dance floor. He has his space, I have mine. Some disagreements may happen here and there, but we mutually work it out and respect and support each other.
I believe when you decide to marry someone, your life shouldn’t change drastically. Love itself should be part of the wild crazy adventure that is called your life and only add more meaning to it. It seriously annoys the crap out of me when people think your life is over once you get married. If it is — then YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
“Are you both set up?”
We may not have a house, let alone health insurance. But in this day and age, how many of us Gen-Y people do? We have spoken about it, and we’re prepared for all of that stuff. If we had to tick off a checklist of everything to do before we have a wedding then we’re probably looking at getting married at the age of 70 and to be quite honest, I don’t know if my hips will be that great by then for our funky wedding dance compiled of the greatest pop songs of all time.
Deciding to get married should be because you’re madly in love and see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. With or without the set-up, it’s meant to feel deeply satisfying regardless and it most certainly shouldn’t be an afterthought.
Sure eloping in Vegas on a whim only to find yourself pulling a Britney Spears 55 hours later is a bit out of hand. However, if you’re both aware of what you want in the future and you’re both on the same page, it’s not compulsory to wait till everything is perfect — because in my opinion it never will be.
“You’re now going to be with the same person YOUR WHOLE LIFE… are you sure you’re ready for that?”
Just because I don’t want to sleep with different men, it doesn’t mean I’m lacking a saucy sex life. I’m not spending my nights reading Fifty Shades of Grey because my sex life is dwindling down into a bottomless pit of doom.
Life in bed isn’t a porn film, but we always find ways to shake things up and make the bedroom very pleasurable.
We’re not perfect, but we’re happy.
We laugh at each other’s goofiness and learn from each other’s mistakes, knowing that we will both become better people for it.
So for all you sceptics out there, if — although chances are slim — it doesn’t work out, I’ll be sure to write a letter to you saying “you were right”.
But for now, I’m going to enjoy what I do have which is being lucky to have someone who wants to go on a wild adventure together, tolerate my madness, but still love me all the same. Who knows we might make it up there with the other greatest love stories of all time.
P.S. With that being said, you might never get that letter.
The featured and social media image is attributed to Tess Leopold.