Is it normal that… my four-year-old daughter’s in “love”?

This mum needs your help, her daughter is in love… and she is 4.


“Mum,” my daughter started, at bedtime the other night. “Why is it sad when we die?”

Why do these questions always pop up at the strangest moments?

“Well,” I started. “It’s not that dying is always sad, because it happens to everyone. But it’s very sad for the people who are left behind, because they miss you.”

“Oh.” She went all quiet.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, anticipating questions about me, and her dad, and her baby brother.


“Well, what if Alexander* dies before me. I bet he does. And I will miss him. And I will be sad.”

It seems my girl’s in love with a boy at preschool. At pick-up every day, she and Alexander are either hugging or fighting, and the teachers tell me that it’s like that all day. They’re either glued to each other’s side, or they’re pulling each other’s hair out.

Sound familiar?

My daughter was excited about her new shoes. "Did all your friends like them?" I ask.

"Yes, but Alexander didn't," she sulks, flinging the shoes into a corner. Oh dear.

I know this is probably all very harmless fun, but this morning my girl didn't want to go to preschool at all, and was faking a tummy ache and crying. I knew she was faking because she'd forget she was "sick" for a while, and charged around like a crazy person with her brother.

I got to the bottom of it after much probing. "Alexander doesn't like me any moooooooore," she wails. "He won't be my friend any moooore."

Oh, Jesus. So here's my question. Is this adolescent behaviour normal in a four-year-old, or is my girl particularly "passionate"?

Because I'm scared.


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