couples

Is it normal that... My ex brought his girlfriend to parent-teacher night?

This mum thought she and her husband were doing a great job of keeping things nice for their son. But now she needs your advice.

I don’t have anything against my husband’s new girlfriend. She’s nice enough and I knew when we broke up that he wouldn’t be single for long. Still, I was shocked and horrified when I turned up to my son’s parent-teacher interview and saw her there.

My son has just started kindergarten and his school offers new families parent-teacher interviews just to touch base. I was really  excited about it and looking forward to it. Then, she turned up.

I feel bad, but I really don’t think she should have been there. She’s not the parent. She’s not even the step-parent. Even when she is the step-parent, is it really her place to be at parent-teacher night? I don’t think so.

The only thing worse than the new girlfriend being at the parent-teacher conference is if the teacher is the new girlfriend

I sat through the entire interview feeling numb. I didn't want her there. I hated the fact I didn't want her there. My mind was reeling with a million thoughts. Should she be here? Why am I so upset? How could my ex bring her? Does the teacher feel as uncomfortable as I do? Did she decide to come or did he ask her to come? Are they on their way somewhere? Did they make a special effort to be here?

Sadly I have no idea how my son is doing in school, as the meeting is a total blur. I nodded and asked questions but can't seem to recall everything she said.

I really wish Charlie had called and asked me if I minded if he brought her along. I would have said that I would have preferred her not to come or if she came, to sit outside while we had the meeting.

Maybe once they've been together for longer than a year and a half it might seem more normal for her to be there or maybe once they're married.

I can safely say that this is one post-divorce issue I never even considered. Now I have to prepare myself for the fact she will probably be at every meeting to do with my son.

I'm trying to figure out why I'm so upset. Do I feel threatened by her? Maybe it's because at the end of the day, Charlie and I share a bond through our son and parent-teacher interviews are nice ways to reconnect over our shared parenting. That being said, I do know some divorced couples at the school who can't even meet the teacher together. They have to set up separate interviews on totally different days. I never wanted to be one of those people.

I am going to have to discuss this with my ex-husband, or should I just make my appointment at a different time next time?

I would love some advice. Should I bring it up with my ex-husband? Should I separate our interview times? Do I even have a right to be upset?

Read more parenting dilemmas here:

Is it normal...I hate having my husband at home

Is it normal...My friend has put her baby on a diet

Is it normal...I hate other people disciplining my kids

00:00 / ???