real life

7 new parties your nanna would NEVER have been invited to

So… this is a botox party.

Hey Tuppaware – I’mma let you finish, but you ain’t got nothing on a waxing party.

Today we are introducing you to the seven parties that your grandmother probably didn’t attend back in her hey day.

There’s the botox party (will cost around $350 – $700 per person, but we’re confident the host will throw in some Maltersers for free), the gender reveal party (pink or blue? She’s gonna tell you!) and there’s the divorce party (because, well, why not? Any excuse, right?)

1. Waxing parties. 

They’re are an actual thing. And you know what they say, the happiest friends are those who get naked and apply hot melted wax to their private parts together. Scared? Us too. According to this US website, Waxing and Wine Parties are “the perfect way to mingle with friends and clean up those annoying areas you may regularly wax.”… We assume waxing parties and vodka parties go hand in hand.

2. Ultrasound parties. 

We’re not quite sure if this one has reached Australia yet but in the US you can hire an ultrasound technician (for as much as US$350) to come to your home and to share images of your womb with family and friends.

3. Botox parties.

Apparently, “this popular new trend allows you to enjoy the company of your friends while receiving Botox injections in a safe and professional environment.” Party rules: No laughs, smiles or frowns. They only create the need for more parties.

So. Boy or girl?

4. Gender reveal parties.

Boy or girl? At a gender reveal party parents-to-be cut into a cake to reveal pink or blue coloured contents to their family and friends. Alternatively, everyone bites into individual cupcakes. According to this article from The New Yorker, sometimes the sonogram result is sent straight from the doctor to the baker without the parents seeing it.

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Want to see an example of a gender reveal? Try here. Want to see an example of a gender reveal cake fail? Try here. As big supporters of cake, we’re totally behind this idea here at Mamamia.

5. Sex toy parties. 

We have it on good authority that someone in the Mamamia office once attended a sex toy party where she won a competition for being the fastest person to place a condom on a dildo…. with her mouth.

So this is a real thing. Women sit around, drink (presumably) and learn about sex toys. It’s probably not the kind of party you have on a Tuesday night. Or any night that’s not preceded with the word ‘hen’s.’

Add champagne. And you have yourself a tanning party.

6. Tanning parties.

Do not confuse ‘tanning party’ with going to the beach with friends.

This one’s all about fake tans. The idea being the friends save costs on spray tans by hiring someone with a mobile spray tanning machine. This one kind of makes sense – if everyone’s going to go and get a fakie anyway, why not group together, save costs and drink champagne while you wait in line.

7. Divorce parties

Woo! Nothing says party like the end of a marriage! Champagne! Hors d’oeuvres! A DJ! But seriously. Why do the newlyweds get all the fun? We can only imagine a divorce party is something like the anti-wedding.

No guest lists. No place cards. No flowers.

Just lots of vokda. Hey, why not double with the waxing party?

So. Ever been to one of these parties? We can only assume your grandmother never did. 

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