Sisters have the potential to be annoying. They read your diary (back in the day). They steal your clothing (to this day). But in the profound words of noughties girl band S2S:
“Closer than my closest friend, someone who will be there till the end. My sister, sister.”
Yeah, they were onto something – and anyone with a sister (I’m lucky enough to have two of the best) will know they really are the greatest kind of friend you’ll ever have.
1. Nonsense nicknames.
Over the years of growing up together, you’ve accumulated an extensive record of nicknames for eachother. “Mud slaps”, “Mootles”, “Kitty Siesta”. Like codes passed between Russian spies, they’re likely to make no sense to anyone but you.
2. Hot and cold.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a sister is the only person in the world you can hate passionately – despise, even – one minute, and fall about laughing hysterically with the next.
3. Bribery is rife in the sisterhood.
Anyone with a sister learnt the benefits and pitfalls of emotional bribery long before their peers. Favours? They come at a severe cost.
“Can you please drive me to the station?”
“Sure, only if I can have your Backstreet Boys CD for a week.”
“You borrowed my perfume last week so I’m taking your foundation.”
“But I let you wear my favourite jeans and you stained them.”
It’s a lifelong struggle between who owes who more, and both of you will constantly feel hard done by.
4. There are rules when referring to your sister.
You’re allowed so say what you wish about your dear sister, whether it’s good or really quite vile. But anyone who even THINKS about so much as agreeing with you when you’re trash talking her can back the hell down. Nobody talks about your sister like that… Except for you.