Every woman knows a 'nice guy'.
'Nice guys' are the ones who insist they're well, nice, and kind and respectful and 'treat women well' until that is, they reel a woman in, don't get what they want or feel rejected. Then the 'nice guy' isn't nice anymore, because actually, he was never genuinely nice.
At one end of the spectrum is the guy who will call us a derogatory name or pretend they weren't even interested in the first place when we try and let them down. At the other end is seriously abusive behaviour and gaslighting.
Mamamia Confessions: Our most embarrassing dates. Post continues below video.
Because the thing is, actual nice guys don't go on about being nice. It's not performative, because they think there's something in it for them. Nice people just get on with being nice.
We asked the Mamamia community to share their experiences with self-confessed 'nice guys'. Here is what they had to say.
"I went out with a 'nice guy' in my late teens. He was always talking about how he wasn't like other guys, and was so laid back and chill. Then a few months later I tried to break up with him because I wasn't feeling it and he wouldn't... let me. It was almost like he was taking my break up as a suggestion. He was like, 'nah let's just stay together and I'm sure your feelings will change,' and I kept being talked into it?!!? It took me about three times to successfully break up with him. Even then he wanted to maintain a relationship and couldn't seem to fathom that someone simply wasn't interested."
"I went on an internet date with this guy who seemed absolutely lovely. He was a primary school teacher and seemed very kind. He listened well and asked the right questions. Anyway, skip ahead to date three and I still wasn’t sure if I was feeling it and wanted to pursue anything further. I had not led him on and I had contributed financially to our dates. At the end of date three when I went to go home something came over him and he said that this was ridiculous and hadn't I heard about the three date rule (in that apparently we were meant to have sex on a third date). I swear it’s like he had dead shark eyes and was a completely different person because I didn't put out as expected. I dodged a bullet there!"
"I went out with a 'nice guy' and when I ended it he got really upset. We were at a mutual friend's house for a farewell and he came up to me and said 'no one wants you here' and full tried to push me out of the room. Only one of the guys there was like 'um dude wtf'."