54 New Year's resolutions you can tell someone you're making tonight.

New Year’s resolutions are funny things.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that – despite their name implying that they will last the whole year – New Year’s resolutions always self-destruct by the 27th of January, with the resolution often being made with that juxtapositional temporariness in mind.

And yet, wherever you are tonight, someone will ask you if you’ve made one. And want to know what it is. And how you plan on going about it.

As I see it, there are two types of people who don’t have an answer to this question by now.

The first are those who are yet to discover the perfect resolution to dutifully follow through until late January when they forget about it/the gym’s free trial period runs out/that book club they wanted to join moves to Thursday nights, meaning that it conflicts with work.

The second? Those who are never going to make a stupid, bloody resolution and just want all of this chit-chat to be over so that they can get to the night’s true business of drinking, and kissing people. (Best case for the Oxford comma in that last sentence, am I right?)

Regardless, both groups need an answer to give,and that is exactly what this post provides.

Adjust the content and modality of the statement as you see fit:

“In 2014 I will…”

1. Read 5/10/20/50 books

2. Get up earlier

3. Give up coffee

4. Volunteer

5. Take more public transport

6. Bring lunch to work every day

7. Spend more time with my family/spouse/kids/friends

8. Join the gym

9. See every film nominated for Best Picture at this year’s Oscars

10. Clean the house EVERY week

11. Make a new friend/group of friends

12. Quit my job

13. …Get a new job

14. Keep a journal

15. Start a TAFE/uni course

16. Stop buying things on display at checkouts

17. Learn all of the words to a CD

18. Start a sport

19. Drink 2L of water every day

20. Start giving a regular contribution to a charity


21. Spend less time watching TV/online

22. Look in the mirror each morning and pay myself one compliment

23. Give up smoking

24. Take up running/walking

25. Learn a language

26. Drink less

27. Have more down time

28. Stretch each morning

29. Take one photo each day

30. Buy fewer clothes/shoes/takeaway dinners

31. Get a P/C/D/HD average at uni

32. Give up swearing

33. Stand up for myself more

34. Start a weekly life drawing/pottery/mosaic class

35. Catch up with one old school/uni friend each month

36. Travel by myself

37. Finish a video/mobile phone game

38. Start a blog and post each day

39. Discover a new suburb/neighbourhood in my city/town

40. Learn how to sew and make an item of clothing to prove it

41. Do one nice thing for a stranger each day

42. Remember to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

43. Teach someone a skill

44. Read the newspaper for an hour each Sunday

45. Learn to play an instrument

46. Have one makeup free day each week

47. Start my own business

48. Call my mum and/or dad twice as often as I do now

49. Buy a new CD by an Australian artist each month

50. Walk all journeys that would take less than five minutes by car

51. Complete a DIY project for the house

52. Save more of my salary each month

53. Be on time for work/uni

54. Be happy

Are you making a New Year’s Resolution? What are some New Year’s Resolutions you’ve made in the past.