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I know what so many women will be wishing for this New Year.

It’s the same thing I wished for, year after year after year. And it’s the same thing most of my clients wish for now.

That wish? It’s to stop the nasty, negative self-talk, and the constant, critical voice in your head, that compares yourself to the woman next to you, and whispers those daily (or sometimes, hourly) messages of, “you’re not good enough” every time you eat.

Maybe you think to yourself that this year, you’ll lose the weight you wished you’d lost last year.

The incredibly common eating disorder that nobody has heard of.

This year, you’ll finally release your anxieties, stresses and worries about your body.

This year, you’ll stop obsessing over what the scales say. In fact, you’ll throw the scales out.

You’ll be happier, and more comfortable in your skin.

You’ll be the most confident version of yourself, a brighter, happier woman, because you know you deserve it.

Except you don’t know you deserve it, so the New Year rolls around… and you’re just not sure how to find that woman, or how to start nurturing harmony in your own skin. And really, all you want to do is eat chocolate. That’s easier, right?

Read on for some simple ways to start the New Year feeling confident in your own skin.

1. Stop punishing yourself.

Stop being so mean to yourself. Now. I mean right now.

I have an idea… instead of punishment and self-loathing and unrealistic New Year’s expectations, why don’t you give yourself the gift of nourishing yourself this year?

Why don’t you swap self-sabotage for kindness, and bingeing for a beach walk, and a defeated attitude for self-confidence and hope?

Because it’s hard. That’s why. It’s hard.

And I know that… but I still think you can change, let go of limiting beliefs, and reprogram old patterns.

You don’t need to create more rules for yourself, or become even more all-or-nothing than you already are. These restrictions don’t serve you. Instead, they fuel the fear inside that stops you from truly trusting yourself, and listening to what your body needs.

2. Forgive yourself for last year’s ‘stuff’.

It doesn’t matter what intentions or resolutions you set for yourself last year, the only way to move forward now is to forgive yourself for whatever you feel you did or didn’t do, or didn’t do well enough, in your past.

If you hold onto internal grudges or beliefs you’ve outgrown, you keep yourself stuck in old patterns.

15 things people who are happy do differently from people who aren’t.

There are so many ways to ‘release’ emotional blocks which are keeping you stuck. As a kinesiologist, I would say kinesiology is one of the most beautiful ways to release limiting beliefs and self-sabotages, as well as simple activities you can do daily, such as journaling, meditating or even just setting the intention to forgive and let go, and then going for a refreshing ocean dip and letting it wash off you.

3. Work out what your limiting beliefs are.

Sometimes we stay stuck because we don’t even realise we are stuck.

Negative emotions can helpful sometimes, for example, feeling guilty for over-eating on Monday can sometimes persuade you to eat less on Tuesday.

But guilt can very quickly spiral into shame, whereby you stop feeling like you’ve done something wrong, and start feeling like you’re a bad person.

If you feel like you’re a bad person for overeating, this may unconsciously affect how you move through your day, how you treat yourself, which foods you eat, and how you approach self-care. This can continue to spiral downwards into negativity and perfectionism.

Are you feeling guilt or shame for how you’ve been eating? How is this affecting the way you treat yourself and look after yourself? Are you holding onto self-sabotaging patterns or secondary gains?

How to drop negative people from your life.

Once you bring awareness to how guilt or shame is affecting your eating habits, and to how any secondary gains - the unconscious motivators that reward us in one way or another, for holding on to our problems – you are so much closer to finding freedom from emotional eating.

4. Set intentions, not resolutions.

You’re not resolving a problem… you’re consciously and lovingly intending to do things differently this year (and the year after!)

In the end, it’s about how you feel in your body that counts. Emotional eating doesn’t need to follow you everywhere you go. You can leave it behind… but not if you’re holding on to the outcome so tightly. Instead, be kind and gentle as you guide yourself through new ways of speaking to yourself, treating yourself and nourishing yourself.

That old saying that it takes 21 days to form a new habit? It’s a myth. Researchers have found it can take months, but each day you nurture the new habit is a win in my books.

So even if you haven’t miraculously ‘resolved’ your emotional eating by February, keep going. Set the intention to make one small change each day, and forgive yourself even if you have a day off. Treats are important too. (Because yum.)

5. Keep things simple.

You don’t need to overload yourself with a million and one ways to release emotional eating, or overwhelm yourself with shopping lists and to do lists of how you can change.

You can download my free eBook, the Body Harmony Guidebook here. It’s 64 pages of lessons, insights and guidance to bring awareness to what’s not working for you, so you can take purposeful, deliberate steps in the right direction (the right direction is the one where you feel like the best version of YOU, no one else.)

As a kinesiologist and naturopath, Cassie Mendoza-Jones helps women upgrade their health and their life. In working with Cassie, women move into what she calls “body harmony” – a state of balance, ease and vitality. Meet Cassie and stay in-the-loop about her upcoming online courses, books and events at www.elevatevitality.com.au and www.bodyharmony.com.