health

Think lady-parts dye is ridiculous? It's sold out

As we grow older, many of us turn to hair dyes, skin creams, eye treatments and other beauty rituals to help slow the signs of ageing. But do we really have to worry about giving our private parts a youthful glow? At least one product on the market says yes.

The Daily Mail reports My New Pink Button (it’s OK to cringe at the name – we did too) is a temporary dye that, according to the company website, will “restore the youthful pink colour back to your labia.”

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Before you laugh awkwardly at the thought of someone attempting to dye her labia, note that the product, available for $36.95 in four colours – Marilyn, Ginger, Bettie and Audrey, is currently out of stock on the company website and on Amazon.

Marilyn is the lightest colour (“good for beginners”), while Ginger brings out “a real rosy tone”, Bettie elicits “that sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look” and Audrey is for the daring woman who wants a “bold burgundy pink colour.”

According to the My New Pink Button website, the “patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital colour loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their colour loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynaecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!”

And, in case you were curious, the product is PETA friendly: “Our products are never tested on animals, but it will bring out the animal in you!” the site asserts. Good to know.

But the best part about this product’s availability? The hilarious “reviews” posted on Amazon. Some faves:

  • “Just think ... if it weren't for your product, many women might not even consider the colour of their labia to be a problem at all. Can you imagine? Women walking around with grey, discoloured vaginas in their pants and feeling totally OKAY about it? Gross!”
  • “Struggling for gift ideas. Why settle for plain old chocolate, flowers or books. This could be the ideal solution. It comes in Pink so is suitable for women of all ages. Just watch Nan's face light up at Christmas time!”
  • “It's a little known fact that as Emily Wilding Davison threw herself under the King's horse during the 1913 Derby her last words were, 'I hope that sometime in the next 100 years, someone introduces a product that makes a woman's labia pinker.'"

We’re not sure who’s been buying up My New Pink Button, but here’s hoping the sales demand “dyes” out quickly.

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