By WENDY LOVE
I’m 29, married and financially stable. My work is flexible. I love my in-laws. And I have a husband who would have been happy if I were pregnant the day we said our vows. On top of that, the vast majority of my friends have one or more children, which means I almost feel like the odd one out not being a parent.
So why, then, with all these favourable conditions, am I starting to back away from my prenatal supplements and reconsider our decision to start “trying”?
I am being sabotaged.
By my friends who are now parents. And they aren’t even aware of their work.
Unbeknownst to so many of them, I am being constantly derided (albeit it unconsciously) for being an inexperienced, non-parent via innumerable warnings and—dare I say—patronising about how my life will change when I have kids.
That date I went on with my husband? Perfect opportunity to remind me how rare that will be once I have children. See that bikini-clad woman on the beach? “She won’t have a stomach like that after she’s popped one out,” I’m told with a huff. If I happen to mention my early 4am rising I know it’s a mistake: “You better get used to it,” I’m cautioned, “no more sleeping in when you’re up through the night with an infant”. “Need a rest from playing with my children? Ha, just you wait; there’s no resting when you’re a parent.”
I’ll never be alone but will feel alone. I’ll forever and ever have this little person to worry about and my husband and I will no longer be each other’s favourite thing.