Forget mummy-judging, this is the worst thing other parents can do.
When you become a parent, joining a group where you get to meet and share your experiences with other mums can be incredibly beneficial.
But for one new mum who joined a fitness group after giving birth, the experience was quite the opposite. A mum took to Reddit to express her concern, when members of a “Plus size and active/fitness mums” group she joined back in 2013, to help each other lose their baby weight, seemed to turn their backs on her.
“I was really big back then, like close to 136kg, and decided to give it a try. There were approximately 10 members whose weight ranged from 180kg to 90kg. We’d meet as often as possible (at least a couple of us) and go on activities. We also eventually added each other on Facebook. It was honestly really motivating,” she began.
But then she began dropping weight (as you’d expect). “The first 20kgs were fast off. Then another 20kgs. Mums started to be a little snarky about it and telling me that, ‘I wouldn’t be able to stay in the group if I kept losing so much’ and that ‘I wasn’t really even plus-size at all.’ I asked them if they were serious and if they’d rather me to go, and they said, ‘Oh no, we’re just teasing because you’re smaller now. It’s fine, you can stay.'”
"Things got weird after that. I stopped being invited to big events (they wouldn't publish them on Facebook anymore), there would be less chats. It can be annoying to not be able to lose weight while someone else is losing. It did hurt," she wrote.Then things took a turn for the worse when last week, it all fell apart.
"I contacted the group to ask them about an annual hiking event we do with our kids and partners. It's going on next Saturday and there had been no details about it. So when I asked what was happening, one of the girls replied that they'd rather me no longer to come. That they felt I didn't really belong to the group anymore and that I can clearly do it on my own. She added that most mums felt that I was demotivating because I lost a lot of weight and was now able to do more things at a faster rate and that they weren't able to follow. Finally, they said what sealed the deal was that it was nearly impossible for them to keep up with 20K to 30K steps a day," she continued.
The mums then suggested that she join another fitness group, but after meeting with some other mums, another problem was met.
"Well, apparently I'm not a good match either... Because I'm too big for them, they re-directed me towards the plus-size group and they politely said that they go intense hiking, do power-yoga and yada yada yada. Technically, they told me that with my experience in sports that they did and my weight, they wouldn't be able to take me because they'd think I wouldn't stay on track with them and they're a much smaller and more dedicated group (five mums). Again, I understand, but I'm REALLY bummed," the mum expressed.
"I feel like I've lost my weight loss support girls whom I could talk about everything and nothing. We'd count our water intake together, we'd get into weekly challenges together, we'd care for each other... It just sucks losing all that," she concluded.
Have you ever been kicked out of a support group after being there for a while? Did you end up finding another group?
Like this? Try these: