Mummy rage is not something women talk about a lot.
Road rage, trolley rage, queue rage, you-name-it rage, sure. We’ve swapped stories at barbeques and in workplaces about watching a man jump out of his car and punch a lane changer’s windscreen, or a neighbour screaming at another neighbour for Sunday morning leaf blowing.
But mummy rage? It’s not so public. The witnesses are usually the smallest people in the house. Sometimes they can’t even speak. Or they are teens, and considered rather “overly dramatic” retellers of events.
Listen to Zoe exdplain what Year 12 for a kid is really like. (Post continues.)
The thing is, mummy rage is not meant to happen because Mummys are soft and cuddly and full of kisses and burp rainbow bubbles and cut sandwiches into love hearts and remember everyone’s birthday, and eat the burnt bit of toast, and skip for no reason.
They don’t scream until their voice goes hoarse.
They don’t smack before they’ve even registered they’ve smacked.
They don’t say something nasty to a teen, just to be nasty.
They don’t storm down the road away from their families, jaws clenched.
They don’t snap at another mum at the swings.
But mummy rage happens. (Not being an adult English aristocrat walking around with a teddy bear in one hand and scotch in the other, I think it’s time to call it mum rage).
I've heard about it. I've seen it. I've done it.
Sometimes I think it's a more complicated rage than someone losing it over the car in front going too slow. Sometimes I think it is just as base and a sudden burst of anger, no matter what the cause.
What are the hallmarks of mum rage?
- There's no pre-planning of your actions. No I am so angry about [insert event here] I am going to slam this door five times and yell 'shit shit shit' each time and roar. You just do it. Then you have to deal with your actions after.
- Burning up from the inside because you feel like a victim. Like you have been badly done by. That life is unfair. That everyone was having a better time than you are. It's kind of an emotional state that swings from toddler tantrum to teen mood and back again.
- Wanting control, but not feeling in control at all.
Dana Posthumus in The Tribe admits to bouts of mum rage and says she believes there are three main roots to her anger where she feels, "that horrible gut wrenching hot rage".