Nothing good comes from thinking too hard.
If I thought hard enough, my brain might occasionally speak up with things like, “Actually, Lucy, considering the size of a human stomach, the smaller size burrito would have been sufficient” and “If you check in on Facebook, your boss will know you lied”… both of which actually would have been useful thoughts from time to time.
But some things should just not be over considered and your favourite childhood movies are ten of them. Thinking too hard got me to realise something horrible – that ten of my fav VHS’s are actually spouting morals/messages/plots that, when I think about them, are probably not okay. Prepare yourselves, nineties kids.
Ten Movies That Seemed Alright At The Time…. But Now I’m Not So Sure*
1. GreaseTell me about it….. Skank. I mean, stud.
Slut up and you will get the man of your dreams. On ya, Sandy. Innocent and pure, with a golden bob and Colgate-white shoes. Enter Danny – cute, but treats Sandy like shit in front of his super-cool leather-jacket wearing friends. And then the morals get a bit sketchy. If a boy treats you like shit, should you:
a) Use a dumb jock to get his attention.
b) Get ditched at the high school dance as he dances with his ex-gf on national TV.
c) Get sexually harassed at the drive-in (think about that boob-grab scene… not cool, Zuko).
d) Secretly cheer him on as he wins a drag race (the number of times I got challenged to a drag race in Year 12 by the opposing gang, by golly…)
e) Overhaul your image to include skin-tight everything, leather, hooker heels and a dart.
f) All of the above.
Sandy’s answer is f). F for……frigid-free. Also, Rizzo had a pregnancy scare, and we were all rooting (NPI) for her when she got through it OK. Really, we should have been contacting her parents.
2. She’s All ThatShe got cleavage. She got a boyfriend.
I love this movie. Freddie Prinze Jr can be the Prinze of my kingdom any day. But really, what is the moral in this movie – change everything that you are and a boy might realise you’re worth something. Okay, I know it turns out nicely and blah blah, but really. The number of times I was hoping to get made over by popular chicks because of the movies I love is sad…. mostly because, I’m still waiting. Anyone??
3. Home AloneWhat could POSSIBLY go wrong here?
KIDS AROUND THE WORLD – DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. Okay, that’s a weight off my shoulders. Little Kevin may have gotten lucky that the two stupidest thieves in the world were trying to pillage his home but I will advise my future kids – screw our possessions. Run like the wind out the back door.
4. Beauty and the Beast
Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Where the victim falls in love with their captor? Exhibit A.