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"A paper mache bowl and a cat calendar." 21 of the worst Mother's Day gifts we've ever received.

“Dearest mum,

I’m so sorry for the jar of shells I bought from the Mother’s Day fete in 1998, that I forced you to keep on display in the bathroom for half of my life.

They were ugly, I paid $10 for them, and I could very easily have made it myself from the beach at the end of our street.”

What every woman actually wants on Mother’s Day. Post continues after video.

Video by MMC

Mums across the country are preparing to wake up to a clumsily made-with-love breakfast in bed this Sunday.

They’ll also likely get a gift.

Get ready mums, for another year of practising your excited face.

Here are the 21 worst gifts received or given to our poor, incredible mothers: 

1.”My daughter gave me a coffee mug that she’d painted, which was hideous but lovely. Unfortunately my husband didn’t bake it long enough for the paint to set and my first cup of coffee included a mouthful of disgusting flecks of paint. Yummy. And possibly toxic.”

2. “We (dad) got her size 8 pyjamas (she’s a 12 and has been for ages) and couldn’t understand why she was cranky all day.”

3. “When I was little my mum had this little Christmas decoration that I adored so I hid it and gave it to her as her gift for Mother’s Day.”

4. “When I was about eight I got mum a plastic tomato sauce squeeze bottle as a gift (but not the cool one shaped like a tomato – just a plain white normal one). Other families all had squeeze bottles for their tomato sauce and I hated that my family just left the sauce in the glass bottle it came in. I figured my mum would be super happy to finally have a squeeze bottle! It took me years to appreciate why she was so underwhelmed by my gift.”

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5. “I bought Mum a pasta shell necklace from the school fete, when I could have just made her my own pasta shell necklace…”

6. “I gave mum a little voodoo doll thing that came in its own bag with a little message.”

7. “I bought my mum a mug with a block of chocolate that came as a little gift pack from the Mother’s Day stall at school… she only got the mug cause I ate the chocolate the same day.”

8. “My daughter bought me a fridge magnet with a picture of an ostrich on it.”

9. “Seashell-shaped soaps… so many years of seashell-shaped soaps that she never used.”

10. “My husband broke his foot last Mother’s Day. Our baby was 12 weeks and he ended up on crutches for three months.”

11. “In kindergarten I bought my mum a $10 coat hanger.”

12. “My daughter got me a key ring that said ‘Grandmas are the best’. Um?!”

13. “I gave my mum an old broken tile I found on a building site one year as a kid.”

14. “I once gave my mum a paper mache bowl that I expected her to use/display.”

15. “I gave my mum a photo frame full of close up pictures of my face when I was like seven. She didn’t seem that stoked.”

16. “When I was a teenager I forgot to get my mum anything one Mother’s Day, so I picked her up some single use face mask packets on the way home from hanging out with friends. She was less than impressed.”

17. “Cold toast with too much jam and grainy plunger coffee at 6:15am was definitely her favourite present. Definitely.”

18. “We would get her a cactus and decorate the pot. Then the next year we’d do it again…”

19. “In primary school, I bought a hideous cat calendar from the Mother’s Day stall that I really wanted. I gave it to my mum on the day and then took for myself! It was so hideous I’m not sure she even wanted it back.”

20. “We (Dad) got Mum a set of hubcaps for her Daihatsu Charade (a car she hated). Things were frosty for weeks after that ‘thoughtful’ gift.”

21. “Dad gave mum a Pete Murray CD when my sister and I were little. She doesn’t listen to music and hates acoustic especially.”

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